A DeadMan's Tale

14: Just Breathe

Dull sunlight crept its way into a quiet bedroom. Soft snores rose and fell rhythmically inside. The busy world seemed to agree to leave this particular haven alone.

Wade had been awake for about an hour now, just watching Peter breathe. He was a little afraid that might stop at any point through the night. Small shifts in Peter's breathing signaled he was awake.

"Hey, Pete," Wade called out gently, he wasn't sure Peter would answer- or could answer. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

Peter didn't answer, he only rolled slowly to face Wade.

The soft rustling of cotton sheets dragged out for what felt like hours. Wade's breath hung in his chest- he wasn't sure how emaciated Peter would look today as it had been at least four days since his last descant meal. Wade fought the urge to just close his eyes and disappear into the calming darkness.

A living skeleton. That's what was looking down at him from the bed. High cheekbones threatened to slice open flushed cheeks. Dark circles so deep you'd think it was face paint. Unrecognizable was the man he loved.

"Can...," the effort seemed to exhaust Peter. "Can.. water... please?" It sounded like that phantom noise of someone calling your name when no one really did. "Of course, Pete."

Wade had kicked off his blanket some time in the night, his skin couldn't take it. Rising, he ignored the agony of searing hot kisses being left on his body by his night on the wooden floor. "Do you want any ice?" Wade asked before he was completely out of the room. A long pause held his attention before Peter opted to just shake his head "no".

A squeak from the floorboards reminded Wade that he might not be the only one wandering around the small home. "Risk being seen again or leave now?" Wade muttered to himself. It still was in his nature to flee before things got serious, but it's long past that now.

"Pete, I also got you a yogurt if you feel up to eating it. It might help soothe your throat too," he announced as he walked back into the bedroom. Soft breathing signaled that his words had gone unheard. Letting out a deep sigh, Wade set down the food and went to sit by Peter's side.

Feathery brown hair was strewn across Peter's forehead and face. Reaching gently up, almost without thinking about his actions, Wade brushed the hair back. It was so soft and pleasant to feel. He continued to run his hand through Peter's hair, holding that even in sleep, it would bring some comfort to the smaller man.

It wasn't what Wade wanted. None of this was. He felt cheated and hurt and lost. How can the universe be so cruel to only grant one soulmate to someone who can't die and then rip them away in the blink of an eye? He wanted to run his hands through Peter's hair everyday of his life- to say good morning, to say goodnight, to do subconsciously when just sitting together, to put an outlier back in place, when he says "I lov...".

Wade sat back, more thrust himself away from Peter- who didn't protest with more than a shift. Wade couldn't think about this. Not now. Not ever. But the mind is a cruel place.

"You're so selfish," Wade thought to himself. "How can you possibly be feeling sorry for yourself when he's laying there dying?" his breathing picked up. "The person you call 'the love of your never ending life' and 'your soulmate' is dying and you're worried about yourself? A monster. That's why this is happening. You don't deserve to be happy and the universe realized it's mistake when Peter's path crossed yours. Anyone you are close to dies, why did you think Peter would be different? Someone so good, so genuinely benevolent, at least deserves to be with someone who can grow old with them."

The voices were always hateful but this time was different. Tears spilled over tired eyes and onto his cheeks. He gasped for breath as quietly as possible, shaking with the effort. His vision blurred and his head felt like it was going to explode. The world felt far away and like it was closing in all at once. He sat his head on his arms over his knees, just trying to breathe. Granted, he could just hold his breath and hope he felt better when he woke up, but he didn't want to risk upsetting Peter.

Peter, who had woken up while Wade sobbed to himself, tried to reach out, but contained no strength to do so. Worlds apart, within arms reach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: reaalllyy short, I'm sorry. It's mostly to get something out (for @chaosmindedkid) (jk, for everyone) bc I've been really stuck. Ik how I want it to end but I'm having trouble. I'm sorry. I'll do better I promise