Incorrect Quotes: Sanders Sides

As Office Quotes

Patton: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. (Michael)
Remus: I never thought I'd say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow. (Dwight)
Logan: I normally don't enjoy making people laugh. (Angela)
Patton: Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick. (Kevin)
Roman: A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and um, we all took it really hard. (Ryan)
Patton: I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. (Michael)
Janus: Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?
Roman: Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. (Michael)
Roman: I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there. (Kelly)
Remus: Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos. (Stanley)
Virgil: So, I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before: try. (Jim)
Remus: The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-baters. (Kevin)
Virgil: We're aware of what it means Logan, you just do not look cool saying it. (Kevin)
Patton: Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people? (Kevin)
Patton: You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it. (Kevin)
Remus: I wanna be wined, and dined, and 69ed. (Kevin)
Patton: Hey Logan, was that you who just created a party out of thin air? Or was it me? (Kevin)
Roman: I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you? (Kelly)
Virgil: Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself. (Kelly)
Roman: No, no, no, no, no, no. She's hot, OK? Because if you are saying that Hillary Swank isn't hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I'm not as hot as Hillary Swank! (Kelly)
Virgil: You wanna call someone that texted you? Do you want to drive them away? (Kelly)
Roman: I am one of those few people who looks hot eating a cupcake. (Kelly)
Remus: Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for. (Kelly)
Roman: Five dots, Thomas, are you kidding me? OK, 'cause three dots means 'to be continued,' four dots is a typo, but five dots means, 'Whoa, do not make me say what I want to say, baby, but if I did, it would blow your mind, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.' (Kelly)
Remus: It's not garbage, it's my clothes. (Ryan)
Janus: I'd like to make a toast. To the troops...all the troops...both sides. (Ryan)
Emile: How do I know that Remy is gay? He liked my facebook photos at three o'clock in the morning. (Ryan)
Remy: I love when people say "like crack" who've obviously never done crack. (Ryan)
Janus: Okay. So, um. Listen. I know about your diabolical plan. (Ryan)
Logan: How would a movie increase productivity, Patton? How on earth would it do that? (Jan)
Logan: And where it asks you to state your business he wrote, "Beeswax, Not Yours, Inc." (Jan)
Logan: People underestimate Patton. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at. Like ice skating. He is a very good ice skater. (Jan)
Remus: I'll tell you about my ideal dinner party. John Wilkes Booth. Lee Harvey Oswald. Osama Bin Laden. John Wayne Gacy. Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer. (Dwight)