Desperation and Fornication

Part 1: The Desperation

John entered the bar just like anyone else would. Wearing clothes, walking, and thirsty in every sense of the word. He lacked his confidence though, something he never really seemed to have. This isn't to say that John was a loser, he just didn't have any confidence whatsoever. And I know what you're thinking, spineless character within a story, that means that we're supposed to feel sorry for this poor bastard because he's a fuckup, and we need to be able to sympathize with various different aspects of his life because once we sympathize with that character it allows us to root for them when they inevitably get what they want in the end because the story needs a happy ending or else no one is going to read the sequel and all interest on the story will be lost because the ending sucked, and no one's going to watch a sequel to a movie that sucked. Think about one movie that was terrible when you first saw it, and then think about a sequel that ended up doing way better. Birds of Prey doesn't count, that was just a spin-off movie that successfully attempted to re-brand DC all because we saw Gotham during the day.

Anyways, this all besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that he was just not special. There's always something special about the main character of a story. Either he's a quirky character and doesn't get along with the outside world, or he's just a great guy that can really get along with everyone, except for his family because that's how all funny people are. All comedians have some terrible shit in their past that they'd rather not deal with, so instead, they go into comedy. But John, just didn't really have too much going for him. He was average. Perfectly average. Which isn't good, because that means that he does average on everything that he does. He did average in school, he does average work in an average way, and he's never bored, and never says anything boring, but that doesn't make it interesting either. He didn't have anything special about him, he was just simply average, and he always would be. The only time he would ever really catch a break was when he would make people laugh accidentally, and then things would go a little different for him.

When John sat down at the bar, the Bartender immediately grabbed a mug and was about to pour a beer into it. John put his hand up, and the bartender looked at him, confused. Then John spoke.

"Get me a martini, dry, no olives."

"Whoa, tough day, Johnny boy?" The Bartender grabbed everything he needed for a martini and began to shake.

"Yeah, I can't do this shit anymore. It's my job again."

"Dead end?"

"No, it's not a dead end. I could keep going at my company, but there's just nothing great about it. I mean, I like what I do, but that's it. I want to love what I do, and I just, don't."

"Well, what's stopping you from getting a better job?"

"I don't have the experience."

"Well, you've got some good experience, you've been working for that company for five years now."

"Yeah, but that's not enough for me to be able to find something better. I need a hook!"

"Listen here," He poured John's drink slowly, to allow for all of his advice to be given before he was able to take a sip, "If you want a hook, I'll buy you a fishing pole, just find something out there that you love, and pursue it."

John heard the door to the bar open, and the people who entered were loud. They couldn't stop being loud, and all of John's thoughts were interrupted by the constant laughter and noise that made it's way through the door.

"Look what the cat dragged in."

"Hey, those are my newest customers. They buy at least six pitchers of beer a night for themselves alone."