Finding Her

Chapter 1

Ok, so, I don't know how well this would stand alone from Alana's story so you MIGHT want to read that first just so you won't be confused (if you get confused.) This is solely Alexander's story. Enjoy <3

It had been seventeen years since I got locked up. I was almost thirty-five, she'd be thirty-four, the product of our love was still sixteen. I always wondered if she was as beautiful as her mother, if she knew I was he real dad, wondered if that prick was still around. He didn't deserve them. Hell, I didn't either. I was horrible, I pushed them away. At least my mother moved on and started seeing someone - some top-notch lawyer. My sister seemed to like him.

She came to see me once a month - my mother - she'd bring me food from the outside and tell me what happened since the last visit. She never once got mad at my being here, locked away like an animal, she just accepted it and did everything she could to see that I was ok. Finally, she got me out and I could be reunited with my love. Maybe I was delusional, but I didn't care. I had hope that she would love me again, that she would be mine. I wanted her to be mine forever. I planned on marrying her and being with her forever, and I fucked that up. I needed to change that.

I stared out of the dirty bus window at the passing trees. I was getting close to home, my mothers hand rested on knee, things seemed so different. There was a new gas station off of the highway off ramp where we got off and walked home. "Sorry, again, my car's still in the shop. Roy is being nice enough to pay for it, I do hope you like him." My mother had always been hopeful before my dad, it's good to see her with a hopeful look again. He dark hair was even longer, almost to her knee. She had gotten frail though, her skin lost its healthy glow. I tried not to be angry, it's not her fault she was sick.

"It's fine, mom. Really. It's nice to be in the real world again." I smiled brightly at her, but my smile faltered when I realized how unwell she felt. "Mom? Do we need to rest for awhile?"

She waved her hand dismissively, "I'm fine, just a little tired. It gets tiring, the meds don't make it any better. I'll be ok for right now, still got a few more months left. Or at least that's what they predict." She sighed, "Do one thing for me, will you?"

"What is it?"

"Find her, the mother of your baby, find her and win her back. I'd love to see you two married before I die." She turned to me and smiled. "I haven't see her or picture gotten new pictures of my grandchild in almost a year. She still won't tell me her name."

I frowned, "I'll do my best. Why didn't you tell me about the pictures?"

She laughed softly, "I was waiting until you were out so you could all of the pictures in a timeline."

"Alright, I get that." I rubbed my face and groaned, "I'd that idiot still with her?"

My mom laughed and shook her head, the hair coming loose from her braids, "They never got married, the girl thinks the did." She sighed and stiffened in pain. "I need to rest after all."

We sat on a red bus bench, the worry I felt never ceased for a second. My mom was dying and there was nothing we could do about it. She was given three months to live after doctors stopped treating her, the cancer just wouldn't react to anything, "How's Vanessa reacting to it? It must be hard for her."

"She hasn't been adjusting too well, I'm sorry I never brought her with me. She begged but I didn't want her around those men." She shook her head and a black sports car pulled up to the curb. A tall greying man in an expensive suit got out with a worried expression. "Brylee! Are you alright?"

I stiffened, this stranger knew my mom. My mom patted my hand and gave me a look, "Just tired, Roy. This is my son Alexander. Alexander, this is Roy Michelson."

"Nice to meet you, Roy."

He nodded at me and looked back at my mom. "Let's get you home, Bry." He said with a concern laced voice. Well, at least he cared about her.

The ride home was awkward and uncomfortable. Roy talked only to my mom as if I wasn't there, probably because I was in jail. What a dick. I was relieved when we pulled into the driveway and mom told him she wanted to spend time with me. I doubt I could stand to be around the guy any longer. He sped off angrily and I gave my mom a look of disbelief. She gave me an exasperated look and dragged me into the house. "I know, he can be a bit... emotional, but I need him right now. He's been paying off the car and the house, even helped me get you out of that place."

"So, basically, you're using him for his money? Mom, that's not right!" I stated with bewilderment. "I understand that you're scared, but is this really what you want? To use some guy just because he has money?"

She sighed and wiped her eyes, "Son, I'm not using him just for his money. I'm using him for comfort and support. Your brother hasn't been home for a day, I barely see Nessa, you were in jail, and he was there! He was the only comfort I had. He was the only person who would go to chemotherapy with me. He was the only one who made sure I was ok!" She whisper yelled, her voice cracking, "So yes, this is what."

She turned and walked up the stairs. I groaned and plopped on the couch. Stupid me not thinking things through, just like with Alana and the transport. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I shouldn't have upset her, I shouldn't have said anything at all. Who knows what could set her off. It was highly upsetting seeing my mom like this. Wasting away with no chance for survival, not sure when she'd see her only daughter or oldest son, having a son in jail for seventeen years. She had become a shell of herself and the only comfort he had was some douche-bag. I sighed, it wasn't all that long ago I was a douche-bag. I really needed to find Alana, to show her that I'm not the same, so she can see that she was the only thing that mattered to me.

Hours later I still hadn't moved and my mom came down. "Alex! What are you doing?"

I jumped. "Sorry, ma, I zoned out. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight." She replied quietly, as if she was ashamed to be up this late. "It's hard to sleep sometimes, I get this intense pain in the left side of my brain and down in my stomach."

I frowned. "What do you mean you get intense pain in your head? Do you have tumors in your brain too?" I was scared to find out the answer, but I knew I needed to know. I needed to know just how sick my mom is.

She sighed and her shoulders sagged. "Yeah, it was the reason I went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with glioma, but it was too far advanced to do anything. They started treatment but it wouldn't react." She rubbed her face with both of her hands before starting to sob, "I'm terrified! I'm not suppose to die until I'm and old, grey, wrinkling lady! Yet, here I am, dieing before I'm even fifty."

I got up and wrapped my arms around her as she sobbed, most of it became incoherent as she voiced her fears. We stood for awhile as she sobbed before she finally asked me to take her upstairs, I could feel how weak she was because her limbs wobbled with every movement. Instead of bringing it up, I let my stubborn mother lean on me as we walked up the stairs. It was terrifying knowing your mother was going to die of - not one but two types - cancer. She had pancreatic cancer and an apple sized brain tumor. Both were inoperable and unresponsive to treatment. The first woman I loved was going to die. Once she was tucked safely in bed, I leaned down and whispered, "I'll start looking for her tomorrow. I'll find her if it's the last thing I do. You will not die until you get your wish. I swear it."

When I pulled away from her there was a large grin on her face. I stayed with her until she fell asleep. I ran to my old room and started packing, gladly accepting my stature hadn't changed one bit. I would find Alana if it would be the death of me. Losing my life would be worth it as long as I found her.