minus forty-four

150 21 3
                                    

yesterday you were half
in the ground, half out
i pulled you up and you
smiled and even though it was
just a s m i l e,
i caught it with my heart.

i won't be controlled now,
my mind goes off on three
hundred and sixty degree tangents
and the fifty pieces of a square
but not even a grid can count
pulses when they're as erratic as
mine.

these aren't chains you've put on me,
the curve of your arms isn't a rope
and your hands aren't lead weights.
but your smile is a noose and
your fleeting glances heavier than
broken hearts, dragging me down
d e e p e r and d e e p e r
anchors in this fatal sea.

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