The Epitome of Love and Pain (On-Going)

ELP: Chapter 2

"His eyes speak thousands of word - including freedom."

Ana's P. O. V.

“When did it start?”

I can't really remember kung kailan ako nagkaganito. Maski rin si mama ay walang alam na ganito na pala ang sitwasyon ko. Sabagay, paano niya nga naman malalaman kung una pa lang, wala naman siyang balak alamin ang kung anong tungkol sa akin? Siya nga yung isa sa mga taong nagsasabi na ang arte ko raw o ang OA ganon. Nagsasakit-sakitan lang daw ako para magpapansin. How I really just wish that they were right. Edi sana, mas madali lang ang lahat sa akin.

I remembered that time when papa hit her so many times and I really don't know the reason kung bakit ako umiiyak noon. Was it because my parents are hurting each other right in front of a 7-year-old girl or was it because of the pain they brought to each other which I also feel? What funny is that, they both shouted at me noon and mom locked me inside the cabinet. I can still hear their shouts but when the feeling of loneliness invaded me, I feel safe. Somehow, sa ilang minutong nandoon ako sa loob ng cabinet, nakaramdam ako ng kapanatagan and freedom from all of those pain.

“Have you ever tried to talk to your parents about this? Alam ba nila ang sitwasyon mo?”

Tanging iling lang ang naisagot ko. My father died after a year or couple mula nung nag-away sila and I never had the chance to know the reason behind that since naghiwalay din sila ni mama after non and nabalitaan lang din namin ang about sa death niya kay tita Porry na nasa ibang bansa ngayon. Pumunta ba siya roon kay tita o hindi, walang nakakaalam.

“Ano pong meron sa akin, doc?” I calmly asked him kahit na sa loob ko ay patuloy na bumibilis ang pagtibok ng aking puso.

“I am still not sure about it since this is a very rare condition to the point that there are a total of only two percent ng buong populasyon ang may ganitong disorder.” He explained.

I nod as I grasped his point. Of all the people in this world, I think, I am one of those unlucky. I smiled timidly.

“Do you feel this?” Doctor Cabrera asked as he gently scrubbed his arms. Dahil doon, napatingin din ako sa kaliwa kong kamay nang maramdaman din ang pakiramdam na may humahaplos dito. Napatango ako sa tanong niya.

“How about this?” nilingon ko siya at nagulat nang bigla niyang sabunutan nang malakas ang sarili. Napakunot ako ng aking noo at masama siyang tinitigan bago ko hinawakan ang aking buhok.

“Why did you do that?” inis na tanong ko. Masakit din iyon! Feeling ko tutunog ang batok ko at matatanggal ang buhok ko dahil sa lakas ng ginawa niya. Napabuntong hininga siya sa naging reaksyon ko. Habang nakakunot-noo at patuloy na hinahaplos ang nasabunutang parte ng aking buhok, tinitigan ko ang doktor nang may pagtataka.

“What's your name again?” he asked as he reached his ipad and searched for something.

“Ana.” I said.

“Okay, Ana. Take a look at this, ” he said as he showed me a video of a boy who feels the sensations that other people feel, as if those are his. He has different reaction towards others' small touches. There is also a time, as he storytold, where he watched a movie then suddenly, the protagonist was shot on the shoulder. He believed that he also felt the same shot and pain on his shoulder as it stung more and more. I continued watching the video with mouth agape. Could it be really this?