Cry for help

Short story

Hey, y'all. This is a short story that I wrote a little while ago and decided to share. 

Volodya has always been obsessed with numbers. So obsessed to the point where he has to count his steps wherever he goes, he counts how many times he chews his food and everything he does has to incorporate numbers somehow. In his mind, numbers have their own personality traits. Whenever he sees people he doesn't see a person but he sees a person with a number on their chest. That number is their person. Volodya knows that he has to walk 231 steps to get to the main dining hall in the Moscow house. Volodya sees that his sister Katya has already sat down. Katya's a 3, a good number, same as his mother, but definitely a number that needs revision, at least it's an odd number.

The room looks beautiful and tidy, the work of his employees, but the presence is cold and silent.

His eyes scan the white table cloth and he sees the bloodstain which is partially covered by his father's plate. Volodya thinks about that time when his father completely battered some random employee because he didn't mention him being from Kazakhstan. His Father hates Kazakhstan, along with many other countries, but he loathed the Kazakhs.

His father Konstantin stalks into the room and the life instantaneously disappears. Katya's eyes light up but all Volodya sees is a giant red four on Konstantin's chest. Volodya has always thought of fours as Satan's special number and he has only met one person with that number, his father.

Raisa, Volodya's mother, follows Konstantin into the room and her eyes beam as she sees her loving son for the first time since August.

"Merry Christmas! I wish I could've seen you on New Years but I was in Paris for a conference." She embraces him and all he can look at are the 4 bruises on her left arm.

"It's okay mother," Volodya mimics laughter. His lips are moving but his eyes are in a dead stare at the table

Konstantin and Raisa sit at each head of the table with nothing but a cold trailing wave of silence between them.

Konstantin chimes in with a heart-crushing question. "How's your little girlfriend doing? She was putting you forth in a good direction."

Sasha. Volodya told her his traumas about his OCD and biggest insecurities and she cared, she was the only one. She would remind him every day that he wasn't disposable and that the world needed him. She truly loved him and all of his weird, awkward quirks. She was a rare case of having the same number as Volodya, a 7, his and her favorite number.

"We broke up."

Her living 8,207km away was the main reason for them breaking up, and the fact that Volodya truly believed that he wasn't allowed to be as happy as he was with her. She deserved someone else, a better 7.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," Raisa consoles him.

Sometimes he would think of her words, you aren't disposable. It chips small pieces of his soul away because he never believed her.

The enormous room was becoming claustrophobic. He just needs to take a quick walk and get some fresh air. He needs to taste life. He feels his body lightly start to shake.

He stands up and a sheer look of panic flashes on everyone's face. Nobody can stand without Konstantin's permission. Konstantin rushes to his son. Volodya is used to it but the rings always hurt. When Volodya was a child he would usually just cry or run to Raisa but now that he's 16 and matured he usually sits back down. Not this time.

He begins to storm off to his room and he hears the yells of his father. Raisa follows Volodya 231 steps to his room but he manages to lock the door on her.

He grabs a small clear plastic bag with the white powdery cocaine and inhales the substance.

He feels like he's escaped but this euphoric state feels different. It feels unwell. He reaches to unlock the door and Raisa rushes in and before she yells at him about his disobedience she notices there's something wrong. She sees the white powdery dust on the counter and her son begins to weaken, he falls. Raisa screams for Konstantin as she tries to pick her son up, but he is too heavy for her frail body to carry. His mind raced and the number seven flashes before his eyes and he remembers a time when he was happy with Sasha.

He was always suicidal but never truly wanted to die. Everybody wanted to be Volodya Ivanov but seldom saw him like this. The gaping hole in his heart that he tried to fill with money and drugs has become obvious to his mother.

Six, he remembers his only true friend as a child, Ivan

Tears streaking her eyes as her son clutches his chest and begins to seize. He tries to mouth the word to 'help' to his mother. His breathing begins to become faster and it is clear to him what is happening.

5, he thinks of his closest friend, Maksym.

He wishes that it was summer when he wasn't in this distorted reality. HIs home was never his reality, it was a temporary prison. Raisa screams for Vladimir to call for an ambulance and Katya starts to bawl. He ponders to himself if his father will finally notice his pain.

His mind skips four due to him not wanting to even think about his father anymore

His father's eyes meet his and Volodya never thought that he would find Satans stare on earth. "Raisa. This is what we want, for this disobedient piece of shit to be disposed of. We have another child that can become heir anyways." Volodya knowingly most likely spending his final minutes on Earth and his father still rejecting him.

3, he remembers the love he's received from his mother and sister.

Raisa reaches for the phone and calls for help while going into Volodya's sock drawer, where his favorite gun, his Makarov is and goes toward her husband. Volodya inhales and tries to tell Katya it's okay, but he knows it's not.

2, he wishes he was at boarding school, hell, any other place besides here.

Katya lays herself next to Volodya and tells him Merry Christmas and that she loves him because  she may be only 12 but she knows what is about to happen. Sasha's words are screaming into his head, "You aren't disposable."

One, His need for life grows stronger and he inhales deeply as he repeats her words and says, "I'm not disposable," and he begins to fight as the numbness spreads, and his eyes slowly close.