Things Have Changed For Me (Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco Fanfic)

If You Love Me Let Me Go

"We don't have time to get her ready for a C section, so we're going to have to do it the natural way," the doctor says.

"Here?! Now," Brendon asks as all the color drains from his face.

"Yes, now. Susan get me the epidural," the doctor quickly says as they get me out of my clothes and into a hospital gown.

"Brendon, it hurts," I cry.

"I know baby, but it'll be over before you know it," he whispers as he starts to cry.

The woman who must be Susan gives me a shot in my lower back.

"Take deep breaths and start pushing," the doctor says.

Pete rushes into the room in scrubs and stands beside Brendon.

"I c-can't it hurts too much," I whimper.

"You have to if you want this baby out," the doctor says.

"Come on Erica," Pete says.

"Please baby you have to," Brendon stutters.

I began pushing, and I scream. It feels like I'm being ripped apart. This has to be the worst pain ever.

"Good, push again," the doctor says.

I push again and scream as tears roll down my face.

"God, I wish I could take the pain away," Brendon says.

I continue pushing when the doctor tells me to.

"I-I'm too tired to do it," I pant.

"Why is there so much blood," Brendon frantically asks as he looks at the doctor then Pete.

"Susan get me blood for a blood transplant," the doctor says to one of the nurses.

I look up at the ceiling, and darkness threatens to take over my vision.

"Hey baby stay with me and keep pushing," Brendon faintly says.

"Just a couple more pushes, and your daughter's here," the doctor says.

I push using all my strength, and I look up to see the doctor handing her to a nurse.

"Brendon why isn't she crying," I quietly ask.

The last thing I see is Brendon looking down at me with tears in his eyes. When I wake up, I'm in a hospital bed with a needle connected to a tube in my arm and a breathing tube in my nose. I look over to see Brendon and Patrick sitting in the chairs.

"Where is she," I quietly ask as tears form in my eyes.

"Thank God you're okay," Brendon says as he and Patrick gets up.

"What happened to her," I ask looking from Patrick to Brendon.

"Baby...... she's in the NICU right now, but when she was born she wasn't breathing... Luckily the doctors and nurses put a breathing tube in, and she's breathing now. Her lungs are just under developed. The doctors won't let anyone see her, but they did say she would have to stay in there until they make sure her lungs are working right," Brendon says.

"This is all my fault," I say as I start crying.

"No, it isn't. None of us could have prevented her from being born early," he quietly says as he moves my hair out of my face.

"I want to see her," I say.

"They won't let us, and you're in no condition to move around," he says.

"I don't care what they fucking say! She's our child, and if they don't like it tough shit! I'm going to see her," I say as I get up.

"Please, Erica just calm down and stay in the bed," Brendon says looking at Patrick for help.

"No, I'm going to see her Brendon, and there's nothing either of you can do or say to stop me," I say as I get up.

Brendon gently pushes me back down on the bed and says, "Please-Please-Please just stay in the bed. You've gone through a lot, and I can't afford to lose you again."

Tears start slipping down his face, and I notice for the first time since I woke up that Patrick and him look terrible. Their faces are tear stained, and their noses and eyes are red. They look like they haven't slept in days.

"What do you mean 'You can't afford to lose me again' Brendon," I ask him wiping the tears from his face.

"I mean when you were giving birth, you lost a lot of blood before the doctors and nurses could get you more, and your heart stopped. They told Pete and I to leave, but I wouldn't leave, so Pete had to drag me out of there while I was kicking and screaming to see you. By the time we got to the lobby, everyone was here in a private room. Pete and Dallon had to take me and Patrick into a separate room because we were a fucking mess. Everyone else was trying to stay calm because of the kids. After about an hour, they came in and told us that your heart started beating again, but there's a 50% chance of you having some sort of brain damage from not getting oxygen for an hour. Once they got you in stable condition, they only let us back here because we'er family. Elisa was in here earlier, and my parents and yours are on the way here now. I can't afford for you to get hurt or die again. You don't understand how much I was crumbling apart when I saw the light fade from your eyes. I can't... I ju-," Brendon says as he starts crying.

"I'll promise I'll never leave you if I have anything to say about it," I say as I kiss him.