Blue on Blue

Chapter Fourteen

"Yes. I know. I know how important it is. She'll be there." Connie hangs up the phone and immediately fills a calendar square with bold letters in red ink –- Dr. B. The date looms like a red-hot sun. Bright and blaring. Unavoidable.

"I'm not forgetting this time," she yelps to Maggie. "You haven't seen Dr. B since you left the hospital."

"It's Dr. Banes. If you had called him that in the first place, I wouldn't have nearly imploded at Cay's that night."

Connie shrugs. "That's what she used to ...." the lines in her forehead crease.

"She used to what? She who?"

"Oh nothing. No one," Connie says. She shakes her head. "I mean the nurse who gave me the referral. She called him Dr. B. As I was saying, you haven't seen Dr. Banes since you left the hospital."

"So what?"

"So what?" Connie folds her arms across her chest. "I'll tell you what; you haven't had a med check in two months."

"And?"

Connie settles her hands on Maggie's shoulders. "You've been doing so well. You want to continue to do well. Don't you?"

"You're right. I have been doing well. Without the meds."

Connie pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "What did you say?" Her eyes widen.

Maggie's mouth is a straight line. "I don't need them. I'm better off without them. You said it yourself; I'm doing well."

"Yeah, but Maggie you can't just stop taking the medication. Dr. Banes has a specific treatment plan for you to follow. You have to follow it."

"Why?"

"You know why. You know how bad it can get. You can't go back to not eating, not sleeping, scared all the time. You can't go back there." Connie's chin trembles. "If you do, I'm afraid you won't come back to me this time." She looks up at the ceiling and wipes her eyes. "I can't loose you too. You know that."

💙💙💙

It's been six months since Maggie stepped into Dr. Banes's office for the first time. She left that day with a diagnosis of Panic Disorder and a pill prescription.

It's been two months since her S.A and psych ward stay, where she got a new diagnosis of Major Depression with psychotic features and more pills.

Connie promised she wouldn't tell Dr. Banes about Maggie's breach in his treatment plan if Maggie agreed to meet with him and reinstate that plan. She offered to join Maggie for the appointment. She practically insisted on it. Maggie assured her that she could meet with Dr. Banes on her own. She persuaded Connie to make better use of her time by running errands or reading a book or getting some lunch - anything but walking through that office door.

"Please, come in," Dr. Banes says, gesturing for Maggie to take a seat. He hangs his trench coat on a coat rack in the corner of the room and slides his arms into a wool blazer. "I was just getting some fresh air. The common is lovely this time of year."

The Angel and Demon books sprawl across bookshelves. Maggie scans a picture hanging on his office wall. In it, Dr. Banes is standing at a podium with a wide grin plastered across his face. The caption underneath reads, Dr. Henry Banes wins the Distinguished Scientist Award for his contributions to the field of childhood and adolescent psychiatry.

He grabs a notebook from his desk and sits in a chair across from Maggie. Eli's lighthouse sketch hangs just above his head. The lighthouse is an exact replica of the one on his property - the one from the sleep terror Maggie and Eli shared.