The Inventor (Victor Bruntley)

m o n é t o i l e b r i l l a n t e

I wake up, springing into a sitting position with a desperate gasp. Tears spill out of my golden-brown eyes. Sobs wrack my ribs as I cover my mouth to try and stay quiet.

Je suis désolé ! *Je suis désolé !

I continue to gasp into my hand, tears rolling down my cheeks as I mumble apologies. I know she won't hear the apologies. But the tears  keep coming. My other hand has a tight grasp on my nightgown, just above my heart, as I rock back and forth in a desperate attempt to stop panicking. 

This happens almost every night and has since my mother died. I suppose it was too much too handle.

There's a knock at the door, so gentle, so quiet, that I'm not even sure it happened. I decide to stay quiet, even if I cannot control the shaking of my hands and the struggle in my lungs.

"Allura? Are you alright?" A voice, calm and soft, calls.

I don't answer. I don't think I can. My heart is beating too fast.

The door opens with a subtle creak. Victor peers in, staring at me like a deer in bright lights.

"Oh, Remsie..." He whispers softly, as if he's talking to a scared child.

I suppose I am one. 

"What happened?" 

"I-I-I-I" I stumble, trying to find the right words but only tears follow.

I can't breathe.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He asks softly. 

I hesitate. I don't know if...

"Don't worry. I won't tell. Most of the others have them too. You just need to breathe then, we can talk it out, okay?"

I nod. He starts telling me to breathe in and out, like a teacher...but a breathing teacher.

Eventually, I calm down.

"Are you alright now, Remsie?"

I let out a shaky breath. "A little shaky but other than zat I am OK...Jus' shaken and a little scared."

"Are you okay talking about it?"

"Uh...Well...It'z just...the night my mother died iz all..."

"You make it sound so nonchalant." He mumbles, propping himself up on his hands. "It shouldn't be...If it's enough to get you...well, hyperventilating, then it's bad enough...What happened, Remsie?"

"Well...I-I managed to get my brotherz to the shelter. I-I-I thought my mother waz there too but she waz too late. My brother, Raphael...he waz zeven. He shut ze door becauze he knew if it waz left open it would be more than mother zat died...I-I could've gotten to her. I really could 'ave but--!"

"That's enough, Remsie. It wasn't your fault." Victor whispers, gently brushing a thumb over my cheek and wiping away my tears only to have to wipe away more. "It's alright."

He props himself up on my bed and I find myself leaning on him. I don't know why. He wraps an arm around me. It's the most comforting thing I've felt since my last hug with my brothers.

"Remsie...It's okay. It's alright."

I wrap my arms around him. He squeezes me gently.

"You should..." A yawn breaks his sentence. "Should sleep...Are, are you okay to sleep yet?"

I think for a moment. "I-I am not zure..."

Victor smiles weakly. His smile right now, in this moment, is different to his usual grins. It's comforting. It's...gentle. He seems to know what he's doing. Maybe, he's not all games.

"I'll stay as long as you need." 

Eventually, I find myself on his chest, Victor gently playing with my hair. I yawn softly.

"Ready to sleep yet, Remsie?" He whispers.

"Yez..."

"Care to let me leave, then?"

"Wait...Don't go...Pleaze?"

"Remsie..." He whispers. "Are you...okay?"

"I-I...Promize not to laugh?"

He nods.

"I...You...Make me feel zafe..."

He doesn't laugh. He smiles softly.

"I'll have to leave first thing in the morning, though. Alright?"

I smile. "T'ank you, mon étoile brillante **..."

Je suis désolé ! * =  I'm sorry

mon étoile brillante** =  My shining star