hide your heartbeat - vmon/taejoon

fact #2 + fact #3

1073 words//

2. He is a medical student.

Namjoon treasures moments more than anything.

He treasures moments like this, specifically. Moments of the present, completely isolated from the trauma of the past and the stress of the future. They are moments in which he feels calm, at ease, at peace, as if the world has slowed down and his own thoughts have stopped running too fast for him to keep up. It's like he gets to hit snooze on the loud alarms ringing at the back of his head, pushing him around using guilt as a threat, urging him to get up and <i>work, work, work and study, study, study and when will you create?

Namjoon treasures moments like this, in which the need to find meaning in his existence ceases to exist, and he's finally allowed to just exist.

He often finds himself wishing these moments could last longer than a few minutes. They never do.

It's ten in the morning and he's still in bed. Sunlight slips through the shutters, illuminating the room just enough not to be a nuisance for Namjoon's sleepy eyes. The tips of Jungkook's hair look feathery and golden in the morning sun, but the dark brown contrasts deeply against Namjoon's tan hand and — he ends up zoning out, like this, his fingers tangled in Jungkook's hair and a new idea about including bird sounds while recording brimming in the back of his head as he listens to the birds sing and Jungkook go on with his rant.

Jungkook lies there, over the sheets, his head on Namjoon's chest, and his breathy voice as he talks almost reverberates through Namjoon's chest. It's comforting, but the comfort isn't the only reason Namjoon dreads the fact that this has to come to an end very soon.

He needs to get up in an hour, at most, because he has a practical exam tomorrow — an exam his peers have spent weeks preparing for, while Namjoon has less than twenty-four hours. He'll be sleeping for six, he has promised Jungkook to accompany him to his gender therapy session, and he needs to do chores and eat and shower so — he has, like, five hours to study. The maths is probably wrong but this still doesn't sound good.

But he feels at ease right now, as he simply exists in this moment, so he decides to forget about it — just for an hour. Just until 11:03 AM. He knows he won't fail, but he doesn't know if he actually cares anymore.

"And I saw Kim Taehyung for the first time," Jungkook says, and Namjoon is instantly listening. "He's gorgeous. I brought you up."

"You what?" He asks. The birds stop singing — it's either that, or Namjoon can't hear them anymore. "What'd he say?"

"He remembered you," Jungkook says, tilting his head towards Namjoon. "He was surprised you're still a medical student."

"Really," Namjoon deadpans. "So, he thought I wouldn't make it?"

"Hyung—"

"All he ever did was underestimate me," Namjoon says. "And now he's here, doing it again."

"Hyung," Jungkook snaps, curling up. "Why'd you stop?"

"Sorry." He goes back to tugging on Jungkook's hair, grinning when Jungkook starts nuzzling his head against Namjoon's palm.

"He didn't say anything bad," Jungkook says. Namjoon's hand freezes, but then Jungkook whines at him again.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, so don't take it that way. He was just surprised 'cause he thought you'd drop out and pursue music," Jungkook says, and somehow the idea that Taehyung thinks about him and his life choices gets on Namjoon's nerves. "He said that if anyone could make it out there, it'd be you."

"Ah, and now he thinks he knows me?" Namjoon says, and he wants to be as angry as he tells himself he is, but the tips of his ears redden. "Literally, who the fuck—"

"He was impressed," Jungkook interrupts him, "when I told him you're studying medicine and working on your music at the same time."

Namjoon lets out a huff and presses his lips into a thin line. He pictures himself throwing daggers at the large spider web in the corner of his room.

"I don't see why you hate Kim Taehyung," Jungkook adds quietly.

"I don't hate him," Namjoon corrects. "He's frustrating. I dislike him. Strongly."

"Whatever."

"I don't see why you like him," Namjoon says, instead, and Jungkook pouts. "Why everyone seems to — it's a mob mentality. He walks in and he's cute, charismatic, seemingly nice, and suddenly everyone collectively decides to fall in love with him even when they barely know him. You are a victim, here."

"Ah, hyung," Jungkook sighs, sitting up. "Don't you have an exam tomorrow?"

Namjoon shrugs. It's not 11:03 AM, yet.

"C'mon, I have to go and meet up with Hobi-hyung before he has a nervous breakdown," Jungkook chuckles breathily, walking towards the window and pulling the shutters open. Namjoon groans and covers his face from the sharp light, but he can't shut out the birds anymore. He suddenly feels uncomfortable lying there in bed, his muscles heavy and his skin sticky.

"I wish I could drop out."

Through the gap between his fingers, Namjoon sees Jungkook purse his lips and frown.

"I can't," Namjoon says, before Jungkook can say you can. "Let's not do this again. You gotta go dance, yeah?"

Jungkook nods and grabs his backpack, heading towards the door. Just before he leaves, he turns around and says, "You know, in an alternate universe, I think you and Kim Taehyung would be best friends. Maybe even soulmates, from all the shit I've heard."

Namjoon grabs the pillow from under his head and throws it at Jungkook, but it's far too late; Jungkook ducks behind the door and the pillow hits the floor. Then, Jungkook is gone, the windows are wide open, the room is too bright, the birds are loud, Namjoon's physiology textbook is nowhere to be seen, and the moment Namjoon has treasured while it lasted is officially over.

Namjoon gets up, and he's wondering if he will find the time to make something today. Make music — create, find some meaning in his existence.

Bird sounds in the background. It's definitely not an original idea, but it's beautiful and beauty never grows old. Bird sounds in the background — beautiful and youthful. It's perfect.

3. He loves making music.

But this one's obvious.

—

He passes his quiz, just barely. He doesn't care.

—

taehyung's coming in the next part :3 pls tell me what u think?