My ʳᵘᵈᵉ roommate ◈ ᴍʏɢ

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The delicate moonlight enters inside my gloomy room. I glance outside the window as I notice the sky looking beautiful today with glowing stars as no clouds are casting over them. Winds are blowing gently brushing against tall trees. Buildings appearing tiny as view proceeds towards the horizon.

It's strange to say this, but if I were a poet or an artist, I would find meaning in the simple things in nature. Isn't it cool to be able to think like that? I think it is.

But people who see the world with unenthusiastic eyes, perceive everything with a lifeless mind, won't be able to find it. Won't be able to appreciate visible art itself, let alone obtain happiness from it. "It's the little things that matter" they say. Maybe it's true. But not when your mind doesn't even have the ability to spark that euphoria within, no matter big or small.

It's not that I'm sad. I just feel empty sometimes.

I know life isn't meaningless. It's rather beautiful. But I just can't help feel like there's a void somewhere. Sometimes I don't see the what's the meaning of life. People tell me to work hard in order to achieve goals. When I do work hard, they tell me to work harder. To push myself further. Because life won't ever get easier, the level of toughness will accelerate with my age.

My mind is filled with such thoughts. I drop my head on the study table with a thud due to frustration. Dear thoughts, why do you always have to pop out of nowhere and make me feel like literal shit?

But actually, it is right. What's the point? What will I ever gain by pushing myself to do the things I don't want to? I'm just tired.

Yet there's no escape.

My parents are sending me to Seoul. They want me to study at a school there. It's not that I want to, again it's not that I don't want to. I mean I don't care. Life is already weird for me anyways. but right now I wanna sleep...

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