Futura Memoratia

Chapter 11 confessio (confession)

Emily stood there for a moment with her eyes still closed, waiting for the inevitable wave to overcome her.  She could smell woodsmoke.  There was a strong breeze and she heard dry leaves rattling in trees.  She felt a little dazed, maybe just a little. . . dizzy, and her stomach flip-flopped once, then was still.  She took another breath and opened her eyes.  Relief flooded her senses.  She didn’t really feel too bad.  She moved forward and sat down on the steps that led down from the gate platform, further assessing how she felt.

“Emily?”  Carson was studying her closely.  He slid down next to her.  “I’m sorry, love.  It didn’t work then?”  

She smiled at him.  “No, it did work.  I don’t feel too bad—just a little queasy, but I think it’ll pass quickly.”  She told him about her discovery in the database.  He said he would be glad to go over it with her and to look over the treatments the Ancients had used.

She smiled, thinking about the simplicity of the answer.  “The interesting thing is. . . that on these short jumps within one galaxy, I have a relatively mild case, compared to the case reports in the database.  Some of the Ancients, an extremely minute number of their population, got violently ill from gate travel.  Luckily, I never get that sick—though the trip through the intergalactic space came close, just due to the extended exposure to the wormhole, I suppose.  For mild sufferers, the database suggests the simple measure of closing one’s eyes—can you believe that, Carson?  Just close your eyes?  It’s just insane.”  She shook her head.  “Why didn’t I think of that?  It’s just a form of motion sickness.  You were right.”

“I think it’s brilliant,” he said and smiled brightly.

They could see Teyla, a tall man, and a group of children approaching from a distance.  Teyla waved at them and Carson stood and waved back.

“I don’t want to rush you,” he said.  “Let me know when you’re ready.”

She nodded and looked down at her hands in her lap.  He was so kind and gentle.  Why couldn’t she feel that tug, the tingle, the spark that she felt when she looked at Rodney?  He was certainly handsome and seemed to like her.  She needed to put all the nonsense with Rodney behind her.  Then maybe she would be able to feel something for someone else.  She rose and they started hiking down to meet Teyla.  Teyla introduced the tall man as Halling, the Athosian leader.

It was only a little earlier in the day here, maybe by just a few hours, than it had been on Lantea when they left.  The sun was warm on her face, which felt wonderful.  She was glad she had thrown on a jacket, though.  She suspected once the sun went down, it would be chilly.

There was a wide track, composed of trampled grasses and hard-packed earth, that cut through the forest and led from the gate to the settlement.  Teyla walked with Emily and Carson back to the settlement, leaving Halling and the children to continue on to the gate to greet the others.  The trees lining the path were shot with crimson and gold.  If her mother were here, she would want to know what those trees were, if they bore any resemblance to the species back home, Emily thought wistfully.  This climate evoked thoughts of home.  

Emily took a deep breath.  “I miss this.  Being outside.  You just don’t realize how important it is, until you can’t really do it.”

Teyla smiled at her.  “It is important for the soul, is it not?”

“I agree,” Emily said.  “When I was growing up, my mom would drag me out to garden with her and I found it so tedious, but I would do anything to get those hours back now and enjoy them.  I have a balcony in my quarters and I like to sit outside in the morning, listen to the birds that come to the city, but it just isn’t the same as this—trees, grass, warm sun, and a breeze.”