𝙳𝙾𝚆𝙽𝙵𝙰𝙻𝙻

1: Kintsukoroi

Kintsukoroi-Japanese: to repair with gold; the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

Butterflies bounce around in my stomach. I shouldn't be as nervous as I am, because it's only a job interview, but I had always been the worrying type, even as a child. I could argue that's it's because of abandonment issues, because that's the most likely reason, but I hate being pitied.

My uncle sits just across from me, a steaming cup of coffee in hand as he sniffles whilst reading the paper. I'd say we were sitting in silence, because we were, but it was never silent in New York. I suppose he catches me staring, because he looks up at me with a cocked brow. I look away.

I pick at the cold toast in front of me, no longer hungry but needing to busy my hands before they start bleeding again. It's a nasty habit from what I've been told. Apparently it alerts others of my nervousness.

"Come on kiddo, eat up. You have a big day today." Elijah comments over the top of his newspaper before reaching out a hand to grab a pen and jotting something down on a scrap on paper.

I sigh.

"I know," the toast falls from my grip and I wipe the crumbs on my jeans which I know is foul, but at the moment I don't care, "but I guess I lost my appetite. You ever do that?"

He scoffs, "What, not eat a piece of cooked bread cause my brain decides to fill my head with nonsense that things won't go right? No, not that exact circumstance but yes. It's mostly when I'm on the job and I have no leads. You never know if you're gonna catch the guy. You always want to, but in a place like this you can never be certain. We -I- always try my best to do what's right." His face contorts in to one of thoughtfulness and I'm reminded that everything he has done and continues to do for this city is harder than what I will be trying to accomplish today, which in a sick way is a little bit reassuring.

"So you think I'll score the job?"

He closes and folds the paper while opening his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a loud voice echoing through the small kitchen.

"Of course you'll get the job Sonie! I believe you can do it!" The young girl runs at me with a gap toothed smile on her lips and eyes bright, and I just can't help but smile widely at her. She's my baby cousin whom I love very dearly, I'm not even kidding, I would do anything for this child. "Thanks Elle Belle. All ready to go to Auntie Josie's?" She pulls back a little and I admire the pink ruffled skirt and the auburn hair that swirls around her youthful face. Elijah stands, motioning towards his daughter in a 'What about me?' way before leaping around to trap her in his arms and press slobbery kisses all over her while she squeals in both disgust and delight.

Eventually they pull apart and we're ready to leave.

After putting the leftovers in the bin and my plate in the sink I turn towards Elle and make sure she has her bag packed. Luckily, she does and in a matter of a few minutes we're saying our goodbyes to the detective and walking out the door, my guardian reminding me not to fiddle with my hands as he waves us away.

Usually I was confident in myself, but when it came to things that could change our whole family dynamic I was of course a bucket of live worms.

It was a fairly decent walk towards Josie's apartment in a more suburban part of NYC, Elle pointing out florists and bakeries that she said looked pretty.

As we walked Elle held onto my hand the entire trip, only letting go once we reached the apartment complex.

"You look kinda sad Sonie. Don't be sad." The smaller girl notes as we enter the elevator.

"I'm not sad. I'm just a bit anxious."

She quirks an eyebrow, "What does anxious mean? I never heard that word before. You use some bigger words."

I really don't feel like talking today. Which is bad, seeing as I'm looking for a job.

It's incredibly strange that I should feel so nervous about something that so many teenagers do and have done for decades. I feel like my entire future rests in the two chances I have to get a job.

They aren't jobs that I would enjoy working at, but at least I'll have enough money to go to the movies of something every one in a while with Rory. If you were interested, Rory is my best friend of four years. If she was here right now she'd most likely tell me to shut up and give it my all.