a reason for being | jung jaehyun

five

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟎𝟓

- 종말의 시작 - 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝

this is a flashback chapter! just so you don't get confused (:

📘

A CONSECUTIVE HOUR OF COUGHING HAD passed as seonmi hovered over her bathroom sink, fingers quivering while she held the corners of the countertop. sporadic splatters of sangria red blood decorated in contrast to the pure quartz sink, and the anxiety-inducing sight of it all left seonmi on the verge of fainting. although she saw it coming, she covered her mouth to conceal a cough anyways. she visibly winced, knowing that the palm of her hand would be also covered in a combination of mucus and blood.

what is happening to me, the poor girl thought. her heartbeat was accelerating more with each passing second. she tried to divert her gaze anywhere except the sink, but the dark red fluid brewing in the sink wasn't making avoiding it easy.

"mok seonmi! what are you doing?" the unkind voice belonging to her mother whined in annoyance. the young girl panicked, eyes widening with the nearing sound of footsteps making their way towards seonmi's bathroom.

please don't see, please don't see seonmi mentally begged, trying to clean up the mess. the door to her bathroom swung open without a knock, and standing in the doorway was the youthful looking woman with a rotten expression. not a hint of sympathy, worry, or comfort in her features.

"what is this?" ms. mok's malevolent eyes darted over to the sink that the young seonmi tried poorly to hide. "what are you doing?"

the unusual calmness in her voice nearly made seonmi's heart stop.

"m-mom, i don't know what's happening," seonmi teared up, removing her palm from her blood coated lips. quietness resonated in the air as ms. mok's eyes widened in disgust and anger. after a long pause, the girl whimpered, "mom, please...t-take me to the hospital."

"for what?" blunt and indifferent.. as always.

seonmi didn't know what to say. wasn't the reason right in front of her mothers eyes? the girl, who'd just turned 14 the day before, who was healthy and happy less than 24 hours ago, was now drained of color and coughing up blood without being able to stop. wasn't that enough of a reason?

without saying another word, ms. mok walked out of the bathroom, and the hopeful seonmi followed a few feet behind, down the stairs, and into the car in the driveway.

everything that followed next passed in a blur of hectic events— seonmi had lost a majority of consciousness, causing her mother to hurriedly park the car and jog into the hospital, where an abundance of nurses and doctors ran towards the vehicle with a stretcher. the collection of doctor's wasted no time in opening the door, helping her up by her wrists while she was on the brink of collapsing.

although, through this chaos of people congregating around the young girl and the murmured questions of concern, seonmi managed to hold on just barely. because she locked eyes with a man standing a few feet behind the mass of bodies with a look of horror on his face.

he looked fairly youthful, especially for a doctor, but that wasn't what had caught seonmi's attention. it was more so the fact that he looked so fearful.. not of the entire situation itself, but rather because of her. when she realized she still had blood on her clothes and smeared on her face, she suddenly became self conscious of her appearance to everyone around her.

"jaehyun, roll her to the emergency room. quickly, and keep her sitting up," an older woman demanded. jaehyun tilted his head.

"sitting? she's uneasy, isn't it best to have her lay down?"

"that's the worst thing she could do right now. do you want her to suffocate on blood and phlegm?"

jaehyun's face turned stoic at the remark before gently taking the girl into his arms and helping her sit down on the stretcher.

"how are you feeling? i promise i'm going to help you, okay? just hang on a little longer," jaehyun smiled softly, placing a palm on the middle of seonmi's back to keep her sitting upright without her having to use any energy.

⁀➷

when seonmi woke up, she had been transferred from the emergency room to somewhere on the ninth floor. jaehyun was standing a few feet away, fixing something on the countertop. the girl looked around for her mother, who was nowhere to be seen. at the sounds of her sighing, jaehyun turned around with a gentle smile. "hello. feeling better?"

seonmi nodded, watching as he walked towards her with a stiff manner.

"can you tell me your name?" he asked, sitting down beside her bed.

hesitating, the gently quivering girl stammered, "m-mok seonmi."

taking note of her shaky voice, jaehyun thought of the best way to approach her with what he was about to say. "mok seonmi," he smiled before hesitating. "here, i have a gift for you." handing her a sapphire blue journal, the doctor chuckled quietly out of embarrassment.

seonmi kept her mouth closed as she reluctantly took the book from him. he watched softly with sympathy. "we conducted a few tests while you were asleep. just some screening.. it seems as though you have cystic fibrosis.. do you know what that is?" seonmi shook her head innocently. "ah, well. we can touch up more on that later, okay? everything may seem overwhelming right now, so i am very sorry to bring this news to you, but seonmi.. your mother wants us to take you in."

take me in? of course they have to, i'm ill. "okay. when will i see her again?"

jaehyun just sat there, the echo of rapid walking and low chatter in the hallways. "she doesn't want to...see you again. she said she...didn't want to burden herself."

burden herself?

"i'm sorry, seonmi," the doctor sympathized. "please, put the journal to good use. i'll be here regularly, so please also have faith in me." smiling, jaehyun left the room, slightly teary eyed and feeling guilty, although he did nothing wrong.