Driving all the way to Reychelle's House was longer than expected. Kung ano-ano ang tumatakbo sa utak ko habang nagmamaneho. Tama ba itong gagawin ko? Guguluhin ko pa ba siya kung okay na siya? Itutuloy ko pa ba to?
There's no way on backing out now. Nandito na ako sa gate nila. Damn, I should have prepared myself kung ano ang bubungad sa akin dito. One thing is for sure, nandito siya sa bahay nila. Nandito ang kotse at ang driver niya.
Mabilis na binuksan ni Manong ang gate dahil kilala na ako nito. Bumungad sa aking ang magarang mansion ng mga de Leon. Mayaman nga talaga. I pulled my car in front of their staircase through the door. I sighed and rest my head in the steering wheel. I'm trying to compose myself and to stop myself from thinking too far.
"Dammit" I sould have made a better idea than coming here myself. I know she didn't want to see me, ano pa kaya't nasa bahay nila ako? I banged my head head in the steering wheel and unexpectedly bumusina ang sasakyan ko.
"SH-"Bumukas ang front door nila and to my relief ang kasambahay nila ang lumabas. She hurriedly went to my way as I step out from my car.
"Ma'am, pasensya na po pero wala po dito si Ma'am Reychelle." Her voice is trembling, halatang pinagsabihan lang ng amo niya.
"Alam ko po nandito siya manang, kakausapin ko lang siya saglit," I was about to step in the stairs when she held both of her hands in between us indicating I wasn't allowed to get it.
"Pasensya na po talaga pero bawal po," ani ni manang.
"Bawal?" taking tanong ko. Ganon na lang ba talaga niya ako ka ayaw? Ayaw niya na ako papasukin sa bahay nila?
"Saglit lang po talaga, it will not last 2 minutes to give her something," I brushed my hair through my hands in frustration. I don't care if I'm being insistent right now. I just want to give her something as a closure to us.
You read it right. I will put an end to this. I think she's happy to whoever she is with right now. And I understand na hindi siya masaya sa akin, I'm not for her. Alam ko na kahit sa konting panahon na nakasama ko siya naging masaya siya sa akin, but I'm not the type of person that will hold her from whatever that will make her happier.
No, I didn't regret that I asked God to give me back my life. It was worth it. I should have known that from the bottom of my life, even my past life, she will never be mine. It would be selfish of me to keep her for myself just because I love her. Just by thinking of it makes my heart shatter into pieces.
I will accept whatever fate I have in my way. I don't care if it cost me to be miserable. If doing thjis will make her happy, so be it.
On the other hand, cutting ties with her will make our lives easier. She already has someone, although it wasn't easy for me to see somebody else stepping up in my place. I will continue to live my life even without meeting my purpose.
Naputol ang bangayan namin ni Manang dahil sa pag bukas ng pinto. Bumungad sa amin ang napakagandang imahe ni Reychelle. I stopped whatever I'm doing and glued my eyes to her. For five seconds we stare at each other's eyes. Suntukin niya ako kung namamalikmata lang ako pero kitang kita mismo ng mga mata ko na malungkot siya at nangungulila. Ngunit bakit?
She looked away and walked her way towards me.
"Manang, ako na po bahala," She dismissed her. She took a deep breath as if this is something she knew would come and by the looks of it, matagal na siyang handa sa kung ano man ang pag uusapan namin.
"Bakit ka pumunta dito?" she asked direct to the point. I know she's dreading to see me.
Damn, I really miss her. It felt surreal to see her this close for such a long time. I wanna jump directly to her bones or crush her in a bone breaking hug. Kung pwede lang, matagal ko na ginawa.
"Ano? hindi ka ba magsasalita?" Naiinip na tanong niya. Wow, I never though she disliked me to this degree.
"May gusto lang akong sabihin sayo- "
"Bilisan mo kailangan ko na magpahinga," she rolled her eyes.
That broke me more. Totoo nga, wala na siyang pake sa akin. This is sad but I have to get through this.
"The thing is, masaya ako na masaya ka ngayon and I wish you nothing but good health and a successful life," she raised her eyebrows from hat I've said. "Gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na mahalaga ka sa akin, kahit ayaw mo na sa akin, for some reasons na hindi ko alam, nandito parin ako." I paused and swallowed the lump in my throat. Kinuka ko ang gusto ko ibigay sa kanya sa secret pocket sa loob ng leather jacket ko. "Gusto ko lang sana ibigay to sa- "I was about to reveal what I wanted to give to her but was cut short by what she said.
"Stop," She straightened herself and looked directly in my soul. "I'm already engage," she said.
I don't know if it is possible to hear you heart shatter in the moment. Tila tinapunan ng bomba ang puso ko sa sinabi niya. Isn't ittoo early to be engaged? Parang kelan lang nung iniiwasan niya ako, ngayon ikakasal na siya? My heart dropped from what she said.
I can't help but to think if she did really love me or was I just an experiment to her? Am I a joke to her? Ganon na lang baa ko ka walang halaga? Am I this desperate? Am I this delusional na magustuhan niya ako?
Saying it hurts woud be an understatement. If there is a word that's beyond the meaning of 'hurt' then that must be what I'm feeling right now.
Hindi ko maiwasan hindi mainggit sa mapapangasawa niya, ang swerte niya naman kung ganon.
"Stop it, masasaktan ka lang," she pressed.
My eyes felt burning, tears are starting to form in my eyes. "Kahit gaano kasakit, basta galling sayo, tatanggapin ko," my voice waivered. I tried to contain my tears.
"Wala na akong pake kung ano gusto mo ibigay or ano gusto mo sabihin, from now on wala nang namamagitan sa atin, masaya na ako and please lang lumabayan mo na ako."
Another stab in my heart. God, when will this agony end?
"Now, get to the point already. Ano ba gusto mo sabihin?" Dhe crossed her arms, inip na inip na ba talaga siya na kausap ako?
"I'm afraid we reach the point where it's too late to hide and it's too late to know," Tears are running down my face. "I came here to tell you that," I straightened myself and adjusted my leather jacket. "I wish you both you and your fiancé absolute happiness," I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my eyes "gusto ko lang sabihin to and this will be the first time and the last time I will get to say this to you," so much had been said and done. I look into her eyes,
"Mahal kita, mahal na mahal."
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Still closing my eyes, I smiled at her and turn around to walked towards my car.
This has to happen; my mission is done. Strangely, I felt a sense of peace rushed towards my whole system. Without looking at her I started my car and fled the place.
I'm done, I accept whatever my fate will be.
_____________
Thank you for reading!! keep safe!
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11:53 AM (GXG COMPLETE)
RomanceI woke up 11:53 am, and I had this weird dream. I was already dead, and when in heaven, I begged Lord to bring me back to earth because I didn't get to tell the girl that I love her. But there's a catch Everything is reincarnated. AN: This is a GxG...
