The Dumbass On My Shoulder

Escape To The Real World

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mentions of God and Satan! None of this is religious (I don't think) and I don't mean to offend anyone!
Mentions of suicide
Let me know if there's anything else!
Hope you enjoy!

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The hallway was quiet, sitting there in pristine glory with white tiles, marble columns, and glass pane windows that allowed an everlasting light purer than the sun to shine through its path. It was beautiful and still, having nothing but silence as people passed through its wake slowly and softly.

That is until one angel ran through the hall, shoes slamming against the floor with an ever drastic thud that rang about the space. People glared at him as he passed by, a look of terror in his green eyes as he ran down, papers in hand.

It was his first important job , he couldn't manage to mess it up! Nearly tripping over his own feet, he glanced down at the papers again, eyeing the one on top specifically. He hadn't really meant to read it, but the walk had been so long and his curiosity got the better of him. These papers were really important, he couldn't fail to deliver them.

Turning through the corridors, he finally spotted his destination at the end, two large white doors glimmering as he came close to a job well done. The angel practically flew past the secretary's desk, which wouldn't be unbelievable seeing as he had a pair of wings on his back, just missing her shout of warning as he opened the door.

"Wait, don't go in, he's having a meeting with-!"

Now, the angel had done plenty of things he'd later regret in both his life and afterlife. But this, oh gosh this took the cake. He burst in to see the most powerful beings in all the universe casually arguing with each other, towering over him like he was a mouse. Filth that didn't belong in their discussion.

"-and he was meant to live a peaceful afterlife up here with us!"

"Oh please, the boy has collected me more souls than some of my best demons. He's true Hell material."

For a moment, he figured he could just leave and get out of the conversation before he was caught, but when he looked up again both figures were staring at him, one with annoyance and the other dulled amusement.

"oh, u-uh," the angel started, clearing his throat as he shuffled the papers in hand around. ""H-Hello, sir." A nod towards God. "Lucifer." Another towards Satan.

"Can we help you?" the Heavenly Father asked, clearly holding back his anger at being disrupted. Immediately the angel panicked.

"I am so so sorry for interrupting, sir, I wasn't aware you were in a meeting, I just thought you'd want to see these papers as soon as possible, I'll get out of your hair now, again I'm so sorry," he apologized profusely, leading to the King of Hell laughing. He froze in his tracks.

"It's amusing how afraid your minion is. It's not like he'll face any real sort of punishment," Satan commented, chuckling as he did. The angel gulped at the idea of a punishment.

"It is alright, thank you for focusing on your task," God reassured, side glaring the other powerful being in the room as he grabbed the papers from the angel's hand. Reading them over, he gave a sigh. "Another neutral? More of these are appearing as the centuries pass on," he muttered to himself.

Lucifer seems to perk up at that. The angel stayed, unsure what to do. "I have a proposition for you, and I'm sure you'll like it," the Devil started, an evil grin obviously evident on his face.

God let out a false laugh, obviously distrusting. "Do I look like a fool? Who would I be to make a deal with Lucifer?"

"At least hear me out?" There was a pause, and to the angel's terror, the Lord nodded. Lucifer clapped his hands, giving an "Excellent!" before clearing his throat. "Since you seem to want my demon so badly, let this neutral mortal decide both their and his fate."