15 Seconds Of Fame

THREE

Evan Thomas

You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for, but I was neither mentally nor emotionally equipped for the roller-coaster that was Kailani Hale.

The romantic tension-that was obvious to both of us from the moment we met-we'd always push aside and pretend that 'best friends' was all that we were. It was initially unidentifiable as such, but eventually, it became clear what we truly felt for one another, or at least it became clear to me. Despite our feelings, we always let other obstacles block us from getting what we truly wanted. I loved Kai, I did, and a few months ago I was sure that I was ready to wait an entire lifetime to call her mine, but something my father said made me realise that I had to start putting myself first. I felt like I was abandoning her, even though it was probably the best thing for both of us. Not only was I abandoning her, but also the commitment I made to her.

Part of me wondered if what had occurred five months ago was a good idea in the first place. I never wanted to push her to do anything she wasn't ready to, and I never did. What happened was on her terms, and what would continue happening would also be on her terms. After so long of putting someone else's needs before your own, how do you go back to putting yourself first?

'If you love her, let her go. If she comes back, you know she's yours and if she doesn't, she never was.'

Keanu's words echoed in my mind as I prepared to lock up the café. The last customer, the weird lad that was chatting Kai up, had just received his hot chocolate and left, meaning I was officially free to go.

I debated with myself over whether I should drop by Kai's place and have the long-anticipated talk or not. No, I wasn't going to give her an ultimatum. That would be a dick move. I was simply going to tell her that I planned to move to Manchester so that I could be closer to campus and have the space I needed. The commute was too much, and quite frankly, this sticky situation that we were in could use a break. It took me a while to admit that to myself, but I finally did.

Although my dad workedfrom home, leaving the car available for my use, I still just took the train to and from Manchester, but it was becoming too expensive. My mother had an apartment there and a spare room with my name on it. I would've liked to say that Kai wasn't part of the reason I was moving, but even dad knew it was.

I sat behind the wheel, parked outside Kai's house trying to muster up the courage to walk up to her door and knock. That wasn't even the part I was dreading.

I walked up to her door and knocked. I knew the doorbell hadn't been out of order for almost a year. She opened the door, looking mildly confused, but seemed to accept what she knew was inevitable, "Hey Ev," she greeted, gesturing for me to come in.

"We need to talk. For real this time," I said, my confrontational demeanor causing her to frown. I hated when I made her frown, I only wanted to be the reason for her happiness.

"I know," she replied. We walked through the hallway to the living room and had a seat on the suede two-seater. It was like a walk of shame; silent and awkward.

"I'm leaving," I blurted out. Initially, she had no facial response but as it started to register, she looked more confused than she was at the door, "I'm moving to Manchester."

She nervously fiddled with the hem of her t-shirt, "I knew it would happen eventually," She seemed to have already come to terms with it, not making a single bit of eye contact. I didn't know what response I wanted from her, but this was probably not it.

"I want to be direct with you, which is something we haven't been with each other for a while now," I started. She sharply inhaled, as if she were preparing herself. "I need time for myself, Kai."