crush culture | jean kirstein

chapter three

Once the sun had set, you went home.

As soon as you opened the door to your bedroom, you tossed your bag on your bed and plopped on your desk chair. You grabbed a clean sheet of stationery and a trusty Faber pencil, then tapped an impromptu rhythm on your wooden desk.

Jean had told you everything he liked about Mikasa. It was mostly about her appearance, and as anti-crush culture, you were more than displeased. It set you off that Jean seems to only have his eyes on her because of the way she looks, but you barely know the guy and his true feelings so you really can't judge all the way.

Sadly, the sun set so soon that you bid him goodbye way earlier than expected. He was willing to stay for another hour, but he let you go after he remembered the Science test he needed to study for the next day.

So now, the research is all up to you.

You grab your phone and open Instagram. By research, you don't actually mean it in a creepy way; you think it's an essential move in order to gain some sort of inspiration to write Jean's love letter. All he ever talked about earlier was unhelpful, and you don't want to be a douche and embarrass him in front of his crush.

And so, you type Mikasa's username on the search bar and click on her profile. As it loads, you drop the pencil you're unknowingly holding and groan once her profile page comes to view.

Dead end. Mikasa's Instagram account is nowhere near helpful because she only has two posts. The first one is a birthday self portrait from over a year ago while the more recent one is of her and her adoptive brother, Eren Yeager. Judging by the date it was posted, it was taken during the summer.

You sigh. Figuring that Instagram won't do you no good, you switch social media platforms and go to Twitter.

You nod once in a while as you scroll through Mikasa's Twitter profile. She doesn't tweet much (as expected), but she retweets a lot of her friend's posts. As you go through deeper in to her account, you find a link to her CuriousCat.

Out of curiosity, you decide to check it out. CuriousCat is always the initiator to online fights and cyber confessions, so you think it'll be interesting to check what Mikasa has on hers. Frankly, you're surprised that she has an account to begin with, and now you're even more surprised at the most recent question she plainly answered:

'Do you like anyone?'

It catches you off guard. Your eyes move under the question tab and you read Mikasa's reply:

'Hm.'

You scoff.

"Wow," you say, unamused.

What is 'Hm' supposed to mean? You know how hard it is to read Mikasa because her stolid expressions are always spot-on, but this is the vaguest you've seen her act. 'Hm' can mean a lot of things, and normally it stands for 'yes'—but a simple 'yes' doesn't suffice or match up with her one-word reply because of her personality. She either likes someone or didn't bother to think of a better way to phrase her rejection; no one will ever know.

But despite your growing curiosity, you scroll past the question and entertain yourself with her sarcastic replies. In less than five minutes, you think you've learned enough to be confident in writing the letter.

You set your phone down and grab your pencil, then magically start to write the words that almost naturally pop in your head:

January 16, 2020

Mikasa Ackerman,

Hey! It's Jean Kirstein.

I know this comes as a surprise because we rarely talk, but before you can throw this paper away, hear me out: I've been meaning to talk to you and be friends.