crush culture | jean kirstein

chapter twelve

The scent of sizzling burger patties and deep-fried potato croquettes waft through your nostrils as soon as you open the door to the diner. Customers happily enjoy their meal and chat over the kitchen noise. Some sit individually by the L-shaped counter while the rest sit in seclusion in their own booth lighted by a hanging retro lamp. Besides the absence of Christmas decorations, the diner is the same as when you last visited the place; the warm and homey ambiance in spite of the cold season remain.

You guide Bertholdt to the middlemost booth, sidling into the seat across him and leaning toward him once he's seated.

"Milkshake?" you pipe up.

He snickers.

"You sound too happy to be spending my money."

"That's why I warned you. Too bad you didn't listen, though, so wallet up, Bertl!"

He chuckles. He raises his hand and asks for a waiter. In a few seconds, a boy around your age of average height and slender build with blond ducktail hair and hazel eyes rushes over to your table. He readies his notepad and pen and greets you enthusiastically.

"Hey, welcome to Marley's Paradise! My name is Porco and I'll be your waiter for today. What would you like to order?"

Bertholdt starts to name the meals you ordered last Christmas in addition to a few new ones that you want to get a piece of. Porco messily scribbles every dish on his notepad as he nods every once in a while in acknowledgement, then after some time, leaves your table and heads straight to the bustling kitchen.

The sun is going down, hidden by the beautiful horizon and the fluffy clouds of winter. Porco comes back to give the both of you hot chocolate before disappearing into the kitchen again. With freezing hands, you grab the mug from the table and slowly drink the chocolate.

Bertholdt copies your actions, but takes a few sips first because he's afraid of accidentally burning his tongue. While he's distracted by the hot chocolate, you take the time to observe him and his facial features: his usually pale skin had turned red because of the cold. Tufts of his black hair are sticking out of his black wool cap and the mug of the hot drink looks so small in his hands. He has the looks, honestly. He is cute.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?"

"Hm?"

"You were, um, staring."

"Ohhh." You suck on your teeth apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," he says. He pulls up the scarf around his neck to cover the lower half of his face. One thing that you notice as he does so is the enhanced saturation of the apples of his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Bertholdt sure gets flustered a lot, and you think it adds to his cuteness. "It's colder today. Are you good?"

And he sure is caring. He seems to always care about you wellbeing, which you are more than surprised by. From all the years you have known him, Bertholdt is the reserved kid in your grade who only speaks two words in class and none to other people except to his best friend, Reiner. Just like the time he and Reiner approached you on your way home to talk about his mysterious crush (who happens to be Annie Leonhardt), you wonder how Bertholdt gets along with Reiner so well to the point that he calls the guy his best friend.

Maybe they have history together, or maybe their parents are extremely good friends. Whatever the reason may be, you will never know.

All you do know is your confusion around Bertholdt's caring actions toward you when he isn't the type to care about anyone in the first place. He is always withdrawn from the crowd and prefers to stay in the shadows unless necessary, so your uncertainty goes beyond its limits.