When something bad occurs,
I know all too well what would begin.
It starts slowly, in the mind, when all becomes a blur
And then the negative thoughts take over.
Every now and then
Like a routine, I'd hold up my hands
And count my insecurities,
One by one, up to ten.
On some nights, when it worsens
I would lay in bed,
Overthink and be frightened,
Wishing that I'd be dead.
With both my palms clinching hard,
That my nails would leave marks,
I'd cry countless of tears,
Sealing my mouth shut, for them not to hear.
Eventually, as days pass, I slowly become better.
All these finally end when something good happens.
Life and happiness now meet together
Which gives me hope I can ever imagine.
But a little mistake i make
Would fall everything back in.
The happiness streak breaks
And then the cycle, once more, begins.
