Where We Belonged To

FIVE.

He put the small thin book inside a gift box. Pulling the drawer, the box is settled on top of the many other books he has been reading. There is some that he hasn't finished just yet; some Korean literature novel books, English novel, Chinese learning book and so on. But then he has no time anymore for them. Shutting the drawer with one last look at the gift box, he smiles sadly.

His watch draped around his wrist shows it's almost time for him to leave. Standing up from his desk, he glances a last look around his bedroom. He is going to miss them for sure, though he is living alone here and sometimes it gets so lonely but this is still his home. And he is going to miss how much time he has spent here resting, writing lyrics, sleeping, playing around and all.

He walks out from his apartment, making sure to turn off all the electrical appliances except for the fridge, because he won't be coming here anymore and others won't be too for quite some times; or maybe Hyukjae will. The thought of his dear boyfriend waiting for him in his apartment—Hyukjae's, brings sorrow to his heart. Tonight is the last night they will be together, after this they won't be seeing each other anymore.

What else could he have said? As much as it is unexpected to be brought to life for only 24 hours, he does feel grateful. At least, he can enjoy the last moment of his life at the fullest; although there are still a lot he wishes he can do. But this is sufficient enough, because nothing precious in the world could have ever replaced the time with your beloved one.

"I'm going to miss this place." He runs his hand onto the doorframe of his bedroom, taking steps to the kitchen next, his living room, those shelf he's keeping his trophies, the pictures of him and his members, of Hyukjae and him enjoying view of sunrise in Tokyo. He is going to miss them all along with the memories he has made.

Donghae's heart clenches tight. He wonders how much pain everyone would have felt if he's gone. But what's bugging his mind the most is how Hyukjae will react? He knows the older is such a soft-hearted person and Donghae doesn't want to see him suffer, he wishes they would have more time and the older can live his life taking the chance Donghae is giving him inside the gift box. Not looking back, with a loud yet relief sigh he walks to the door. Opening them and Donghae is ready for another one last chance.

He has no regrets anymore, everything is in place. He has more than what he ever wished for and God has always been fair. He's ready to die tonight.

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On the very next day, Hyukjae decides to stay at his parents' house. He can't afford to worry his mother anymore and so does his members—especially Leeteuk since the leader would always visit him and give him food since his stays at Donghae's apartment. The rest of Suju would also have to come and see him and that's enough of him troubling all of them. So he gives in to his mother's request and go home.

The pain has lessened a bit but when his thought brings him to Donghae, it's like reopening a barely closed wound and stabbing them with a knife. So he tries not to think of it anymore, he feels tired crying and wailing like no tomorrow. Besides, scaring away his family is the last thing he ever wanted. They have enough trauma watching him living like a walking skeleton nowadays; not undead but not even alive.

His older sister Sora is always there with him; sitting with him before the TV, eating together with him, stay up with Hyukjae in his room and talk about almost everything but not Donghae. She knows how sensitive the issue is and until now, Hyukjae still has nightmares of that night. Although with his nightmares and insomnia kicking in, Hyukjae refuses to go to therapy as Leeteuk per requested.