feel it still

base two | sweet n' sour

❛ first they ignore you,

then they ridicule you,

then they fight you,

and then you win. ❜

【CHAPTER TWO, sweet n' sour 】

The stench of sweat and meat grilling fills the air, the hustle and bustle of people laughing and sloshing their soju glasses deafening. I walk past the waiters whom I acknowledge with a subtle smile and a bow. There is still a bitter tang in my mouth, but I try to ignore it the best I can. Resentment of my own self isn't going to help today. 

Instead, I put on my most winning smile and inch closer towards the door labelled as 'Staff Only!' I take a deep breath before yanking open the door, calling out as cheerfully as I can muster, "Mom! I'm so happy you won! This had been your dream ever since you turned seventeen, so as your son, I can assure you I'm very proud of you." I accompany those words with a small nod.

My mom has a bewildered expression for a second - only a second - as if she didn't believe I would come. But pure joy breaks apart her face into a huge smile as radiant as the sun. She runs up to me and hugs me, almost rushing into my arms. From the way her shoulders heave and the way she buries her head into my shoulder, I can tell she is crying, but trying to hide it. 

I pat her back a little awkwardly, but I feel genuine affection for her. Running a pork restaurant from the age of twenty-three in the hopes of winning the Cuisine Championships one day, she has gone through a lot. Finally having achieved that dream at the age of forty-nine, it hurts me a bit to think that she assumed I wouldn't be there for her.

I am the first to break our embrace, just as a strong force with two swinging pigtails and a neon yellow skirt barrels into us. I laugh and scoop up the four-year old into my arms. She looks me up and down as says, "Uncle! Why do you look less cooler than before?"

I try not to show her that I am offended, and reply, "Jeong-hwa, your uncle is less cooler now than before because he is stressed. I'm worried about the Championships."

I smile brightly, but the phrase I'm worried about the Championships runs through my mind. Once I think about it, I realize that I haven't been especially good at practise these couple of days - my boxing skills seem to be getting worse.

However, I shove those worries out of my mind as my older sister and her husband also joins us, shutting close the door behind them. Jeong-hwa runs up to Doo-shik hyung as he picks her up in his arms, and I loosen myself.

Mom screams out, "Our sweet and sour pork is ready!" The five of us sit around the table like a happy family as our mom serves us, laughing at trivial things heartily.

Life is often like sweet and sour pork: worries can bog you down, but it's not bad to focus on things that make you happy once in a while.