Any Other Name

Chapter 18

Eliza woke up to a hand squeezing a bruise on her arm. She flinched and whined, blind against the overhead lights. The hand fell away and reappeared on her cheek, tapping her. She pushed it off and mumbled something about being up and tried to wipe the dregs of sleep from her eyes. She had been dreaming of a dark house—not hers, one she had never been in before—where she kept bumping into furniture she couldn't see.

"Elly, come on." Marshall's breath was hot and close to her neck and she flinched. She had never liked the feeling of air in her ear and he knew it. "Come on."

When she looked at him his face was kind and soft. The look in his eyes was bright and loving and she felt herself wanting to drown in it. He brushed his thumb against her cheek and smiled. "You get to come home today. Come on."

Home? Her mind was a blur between thoughts of River and Tesey—she wanted to see both so badly, to feel River's fur beneath her hand, to ask Tesey what she was supposed to do. He had gotten as far as convincing her to leave Marshall without actually telling her how to do it. She had asked him to leave after she had cried on his shoulder out of embarrassment and to think it over.

But—that look in Marshall's eye. It was good, it was like the old times. The good times. The beginning. When she covered his hand with her own his smile turned into the lopsided goofy grin that she had fallen for. She could feel her heart surge with love for him.

"You awake? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"A good dream," she lied.

"Ah." He booped her nose and she smiled. She hadn't seen this excited of a look on him since before she met Tesey. "Get up, get up. River cries every night looking for you."

She was excited to see River again and pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her head was still a little foggy from the pain meds but she was coherent and let Marshall help her stand up.

"I already did the paperwork," he said, handing her a clean pair of pants from home. "And I got your prescription. I'll take it to the pharmacy once I get you home." He paused and just looked at her. She lifted an eyebrow. He opened his arms and slowly brought her into him, as if aware that if he had moved faster she would have flinched. His voice was low when he spoke. "I really missed you, Elly. It's been hell not having you home."

She brought her good arm up and smoothed her hand down his back. See, Tesey? He wasn't so bad.

Marshall buried his face into her neck. "I'm so sorry, Elly."

Her mouth said the words before she thought about it: "It's okay." She wasn't quite sure she meant it, but she said it so genuinely that she figured she probably did.

River was a ball of energy the moment Eliza got home. She had been right by the door when Marshall opened it and shot right into Eliza's arms. She licked her face and paced around her, howling happily and galloping everywhere. It took almost twenty minutes before River was tired enough to be the quiet dog she was known to be but she still stuck to Eliza's side and was at attention anytime Eliza looked away from her.

Marshall watched them for a few minutes, but when it became clear that River wouldn't let Marshall close, he left to go fill the prescription at the pharmacy.

That left...a lot of nothing. Eliza tested the door and found that she could open it easily. The stairs loomed in front of her as she remembered sliding down them. The bruise on her stomach had since healed but the idea that it might happen again...

She ended up sitting on the couch after taking a slow walk through the kitchen. The fridge was practically empty and filled with empty cartons of juice and milk. Tessy stuck to her side and used her weight to steady Eliza when she felt herself leaning one way or another.

She really was surprised to see the house looking so normal. She could hear her neighbor, Mrs. Kyle, at the piano and wondered just how much that woman had heard. If she knew why hadn't she told anyone other than Tessy? Why not call the police? Eliza remembered screaming a few times the last time she was there, was Mrs. Kyle not in?

But—Eliza wasn't sure if she really wanted the police involved. No matter what Tessy said—which she couldn't even remember all that clearly—she still loved Marshall. She knew it was better to leave him, but saying and doing are two completely different things.

When she heard Marshall's car she still hadn't made up her mind. She had no way to get into contact with Tessy until she got her hands on Marshall's phone and it was unlikely that he would call her an Uber to go shopping anymore.

Who's Anne?

Why hadn't she reminded him that it was her fake name on the Uber account on his phone? It would have proven her innocence, it would have solved a lot of this. He ordered her Ubers, he told her to go by a fake name when she first moved in with him, saying strangers didn't need to know both her address and her name. Why had he forgotten it? Why had she?

"Elly? Hey, dear." He set a bag of prescription medicine on the coffee table and squatted next to the couch. He took her hand in his, and she already knew that he could read everything on her face. She was so tired of walking on eggshells. She was scared she hadn't done enough while he was gone—was she supposed to clean? To cook something? There was no food, how was she supposed to cook? Why was fear her first instinct?

"Honey, look at me." She did. His mouth was pressed into a fine line and his brows her drawn tight. He looked pained, worried, like he knew that Tessy had been there putting ideas into her head. "I'm sorry, I really am. How can I make it up to you?"

Make it up? He had ruptured her appendix, broken her collarbone, pulled her arm out of its socket. Everything hurt and the pain meds kept her in a haze that had her looping back and forth on her decisions. She still wasn't sure if she were slurring her words or not.

"I—I can take care of you like I promised. I'll cook and clean and we'll get cable. I'll get you a phone and we can go out to the movies. Would you like that? I can take you to go get some books? Anything, Elly, please. Just tell me." He was on the verge of crying, eyes red and voice thick. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his face into her thighs. She could feel him trembling against her. "It'll be different, I promise. I'll be different."

With a tentative hand she smoothed down the fabric of his shirt. She could feel his hands gripping her shirt, pulling at her to accept him.

But she had power. It was the first inkling of power for months. Everything had gotten worse when Tessy came into her life. He either should have let her get hit by that car in the parking lot or just let her be. She could blame it all on Tessy easily, as Marshall probably was. It could be enough to hold this power for a little while and let Marshall take care of her again. Go back to the old ways. Go back to before now, when she could accept it.

She bowed herself over him and ran free her hand down his back. He was definitely crying now, sniffling. He really did care about her, so she said, "Okay."

He pulled back so quickly he almost smacked her chin with his head. "You forgive me?"

"No." His face fell, but she put her hand to his cheek and felt him lean into it. "But we can work on it."

A/N:  Sorry for the accidental hiatus!  Many issues popped up through the month of May, including writer's block.  Don't forget to hit the star and happy Pride month!