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AMETHYST CAMBRAY IS not dead.

That's what everybody doesn't know, even after three years later.

Sa loob ng tatlong taon, napakarami nang nangyari. Three years passed by and my friendship with Cinna and Pierre is still intact. Three years without seeing Tanya, three years working as a bartender downtown, still sending myself to school, three years living alone.

Isang araw bago ang college graduation ko, nagulat ako at may bumisita sa 'king isang taong halos muntik ko nang kalimutan. It's my aunt and her daughter, Marivic.

Marivic looked totally different, and my aunt still looked the same, though a little older and with more wrinkles. I was opening the door for them as I saw them on the doorstep, surprise taking over me. My aunt — the aunt I haven't seen for years — visited me.

They didn't stay long. Ashmore from where they came from is an eighteen hour ride away, but they just slept the night after my graduation. Auntie just visited because she knew she had been irresponsible in handling me, and said she is sorry. Also, to congratulate me in my graduation. She also mentioned being 'proud' because I was able to make it this far even though I'm only by myself.

There was genuine apology in her eyes, and I think she shouldn't be apologetic about something I am even thanking her for. If she wasn't so much of a horrible aunt, I wouldn't have lived in Ashmore — which I considered my home — and I wouldn't have met the girl I love even until now.

Somehow, I understood Tita. Tita was in love with my father when her sister who was my mother, came to the picture. The bitterness in Tita's heart stayed and lingered together with anger. I know it's been said so many times, but love . . . it makes us do so many things. It enables us to unleash something within us we never knew we had.

Marivic told me that her mother had always planned to visit, but was afraid I'd shut them out. Natawa na lang ako. At least, my aunt, who I thought hated me all this time — had actually, even though a little, cared. I guess that's important to know.

Matapos ng graduation at matapos umuwi nila Tita, I found myself, again, staring at the letter Amethyst wrote for me four years ago. It is still unopened, kahit na sobrang dami nang gabi ang dumaan na nakatitig lang ako sa kisame at iniisip siya. Again, I don't feel like opening it and reading what's inside because it will make me feel as if it's already goodbye. No. It isn't goodbye yet.

I still believe that I will see Amethyst again somewhere, someday. And until then, it isn't goodbye just yet.

ILANG ULIT AKONG tinanong ni Cinna kung ano na ang plano ko simula ngayon. I have graduated now with Mass Communication, unemployed, and I haven't looked for a job yet. May offer akong natanggap out of town, but I'm not sure whether I'd take it or not.

Amethyst Died that Saturday Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon