TW: description of a panic attack from an outside point of view. please be careful while reading
also idk why but the first part of this chapter made me emotional??
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Peter Parker was born at two in the middle of the night at a busy hospital in Queens, New York. His cries were loud and long, and it seemed like they would never subside even when his mother, Mary Parker, held him in her arms. The woman had tried singing to him, gently shushing him when he screamed and hiccupped, but nothing seemed to work. It was only when May, Mary's sister-in-law, reached for the boy and cradled him close did he finally calm down, exhausting himself into a fitful sleep.
"He's so tiny," Mary had said quietly, watching her son with fond eyes. "But he already knows he loves you."
Richard Parker, Mary's husband and May's brother-in-law, nodded his head, a smile on his face. "He's a smart boy." He leaned towards the baby, gently stroking his pink cheek with his finger. "Hello, Peter."
--
Peter was six when he had his first panic attack.
No one knew what brought it on but Benjamin Parker, Richard's brother, suspected it had something to do with Richard and Mary's new job offer. The young boy had been playing in the living room, content with making his action figures battle on the floor, when he looked up and focused on his parents with unerring accuracy. At first, Ben didn't notice anything wrong until he heard his nephew's loud crying.
The boy's breathing was erratic and he couldn't seem to stand still as he stumbled around with his stuffed bear. Ben remembered gathering him in his arms when he wouldn't go near his parents, gently easing him out of his panic as he rocked him side-to-side and May brought him water.
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Peter had clung to Ben tightly, the child's small body trembling in his arms, and Ben wondered what was happening to his young nephew. May had said he was too young to properly tell but he might develop an anxiety disorder in the future. However, she suggested that they both tread carefully for the time being to watch for any possible triggers besides the standard ones of large crowds and loud noises. Peter was already a nervous child, they didn't want to possibly make him even more afraid of anything.
Mary and Richard had decided to take their new job offer, knowing it was too late to back out and that it was more important than anyone realized. While they loathed leaving their son, they knew that he would be absolutely safe with May and Ben. Ever since Peter was a baby, he had always preferred his aunt and uncle to his parents and no one was sure why. They knew it wasn't abuse on anyones part and that part of the withdrawal had seemed to start, when one thought about it, when Peter was a newborn. He had only been soothed when placed in his Aunt May's arms and he first began reaching for his Uncle Ben before even his parents.
When Richard and Mary did not return home or call by Peter's seventh birthday, the boy didn't seem surprised. He simply snuggled into May's side on the couch and held Ben's hand as they both cried. Perhaps he shed a tear here and there but it wasn't anything sob worthy, almost like he was confused on whether or not he should. Still, he comforted his aunt and uncle and they comforted him in turn, saddened by the fact that the boy had to lose his parents at such a young age.
Peter excelled in his classes, getting the highest scores on all the tests, just short of demanding for more. Knowledge was all he ever wanted- knowledgeknowledgeknowledge. What ever he got, it wasn't enough. He insisted that he had to be better- for who, Ben and May didn't know. The two adults still assisted him the best they could, gathering more study materials during the summer and speaking with the school on the phone about skipping grades.
The Parker boy still had panic attacks, though none as bad as when he was six. He shied away from large crowds but still went shopping with Aunt May during Black Friday weekend to make sure she made it around safe. He liked attempting to build things in the backyard with Uncle Ben, even though the boy was atrocious at woodworking but ridiculously amazing with technology. He laughed and smiled all the same, eyes sparkling as he wanted to spend as much time as possible with them.
Peter was eleven when he made his first friend and subsequently stopped skipping grades in school. May and Ben were always happy when Ned came over, proud that their little boy allowed himself to open up to someone else. They thought that he would try to shy away from everyone but he had latched onto Ned, and Ned the same. With them, it was all about LEGOs, Star Wars, and superheroes. Peter's chase for knowledge was still there, of course, but it was toned down to a slow pace rather than the inane pursuit it was before.
At twelve years old, Peter had been on his weekly walk with Aunt May to get ice cream, Uncle Ben unable to come due to work (though he promised next week) when he felt a bolt of panic run through him. It felt like the many times he had panic attacks except- it wasn't his? It couldn't be his, he had been happily talking about the movie he and Ned had seen when the panic seemed to seep into him.
Peter had ran the second he took in his surroundings, took in the large crowd by some school and the way they were shouting and crying. He saw heroes- Black Widow, Bruce Banner and- Tony Stark- and he just knew. He took off, his legs moving faster than he had ever thought he could go, and he slipped in through a window when the parents were holding their children close as they sneaked out of the small school.
When he saw that man go near Percy, the young Parker made a split-second decision to grab the nearest object- a book- and throw it at him. "Leave him alone!" He had yelled, more like squeaked in fear. "Don't touch him!" He continued throwing every item he could find, desperate to distract the man long enough for something to happen.
And something did.
The Winter came back over, gathering the man's attention, and Peter took that time to grab Percy's arm, to lead him down a hall to someplace safe, and held him close when he cried and cried.
"It's going to be okay, I promise. You'll be okay."
"I-I'm so s-scared! I don't w-want to d-die!"
"You won't die," Peter promised, running a hand through the six year-old's hair like Aunt May did to him when he cried. "I'll protect you, Percy. Look at me." When bright, tear-filled green eyes met his soft brown ones, he continued, "I swear, I'll protect you."
And Percy had thrown his arms around the twelve year-old, had shook with relief as a new wave of tears came, and he spoke Peter's name as if he was one of the greatest superheroes he had ever seen. Nothing could beat that moment as he held the boy close, rubbed his back, and whispered soothing words- though getting to meet the Winter Soldier was pretty cool, too.
Aunt May had hugged him tightly when they were reunited, tears in her eyes as she quietly whispered how happy she was that he was alright. The pride that Peter could see in her eyes when Percy called him his hero made the twelve year-old's face turn as red as a strawberry.
"He's such a good boy. He's going to do amazing things."
That night, Peter and Aunt May brought their ice cream home, an extra one for Uncle Ben, and his uncle had held them both close when he heard the news about what happened. He remembered the words he had told him, ones that he would remember for days and years to come as if they were etched in his memories like a tattoo he cherished.
"With great power comes great responsibility. I am so proud of you, Peter."
