The Middle-Earth Reports

Reports 1-3: The Journey Begins

What's Isildur's Bane?!

This was my question for the Fellowship of the Ring, after the groundbreaking Council of Elrond in Rivendell. Boromir, son of Denathor: "It's our only hope!" Gandalf, renowned wizard and conjuror: "It's the one thing Sauron wants and must not have." Frodo Baggins, Hobbit of Bag End: "It's the one thing that ruined Middle-Earth." Despite my earnest requests to join the Fellowship, I am denied; apparently they only wanted enough to battle each Ringwraith. As such, I went to interview some Hobbits (Frodo's viewpoint was quite intriguing, free of desire for the powerful Ring!). Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took, distant relations of Mr. Baggins, said they're going regardless of the Council's opinion: "Even though we weren't invited, Frodo's not going off on any adventure without us!" Pippin indignantly states. "About time we left and did something," Merry agrees. (I couldn't help but smile at their complete confidence.) Sam Gamgee, allegedly a close friend of Frodo's, had quite a different perspective. "I promised to stay with Mr. Frodo, so I will...but those clouds there frighten me," he confides, pointing east. Back to my source—quite to my surprise I learn Frodo is the Ring-bearer, a mere Hobbit taking on a task that would tax a man. But he wasn't feeling much pride, just sadness: "I miss the Shire, and I'll miss Bilbo too. It seems this is the only way to save them...so be it." I close feeling dread for, yet somehow confident in, this newborn Fellowship. ~

This was Unexpected...

I hear the sound we haven't heard for years; the steady clank, clank, clank of something coming down the well. The enemy is here! At last, the joy of war has returned! The captains yell last instructions (not like anyone was listening), as we take our posts again. We run through the passages, coming in on our prey. Oh! My leader! He rushed through the door, in view of the archers, and died! O! I will kill our stinking foe, for killing my captain! Ah! They will fight, and they will rue the day they came! Ah! What's this? The Elf spots me; the arrows just miss my fleeing body! Alas! This wasn't the plan; they're killing us off...Ah! A shard in my back! I must write these last words, as I die here! Ack! Another arrow! Oh, the Balrog is coming! He'll take care of them. I crawl, but am merely pierced again! Ahhhh.....

~Signed by his comrade~ I, his comrade in war, witnessed firsthand the death of Gandalf the Grey. Now the vermin have no leader, and run like hares! Aha! Now who has won? ~

Curse the Humans!

We have been tracking them (the humans) for a while, and they didn't seem to notice us, says Ugluk. Ugh! Who could not notice us, tramping about like we do? Only one struck blind couldn't see us; only someone struck deaf couldn't hear us. Oh, stupid humans! Do they not care for us at all? I want to choke them, shake them, stick my sword in them and RUIN them! "Oh," says Ugluk, "We must wait for the perfect time to ambush them." Wait?! We already waited, so very long! We must ambush NOW! I hate this! We watched the humans (curse them!) on the opposite shore today, and we plan to ambush them tomorrow at Amon Hen. There are four Halflings with the humans, and Ugluk says one of them has a great Elvish weapon with them we must take to our lord. Whatever the weapon is, I plan to take it myself! I'm tired of always being told what to do! Curse them all, I say! I feel my sword and lick my lips in anticipation for tomorrow. What's this? Maggoty bread again? I bet tomorrow there'll be meat! ~