Hold Me While You Wait

17|the first time that you'd touch me

the first time that you'd touch me

Elis's surroundings in her nightmares resembled an old night bar on a lonely street downtown, classical music playing to dancing adults and teenagers.

But she hadn't been dreaming, because she really was at an old night bar on a lonely street downtown, classical music playing to dancing adults and teenagers.

What world would bring to teenagers dancing to music released long before they were born? It was what Elis didn't even further ponder of, though. The little town shocked her more than it did before. She had been sitting somewhere people wouldn't notice for as long as they kept at their dancing, and Gray kept on going to the bar to get them drinks. It had been her mother's idea that she went out to 'socialize more.' And as soon as Mrs Collins said that, Gray dragged her, claiming that she knew the perfect place for them to spend their night.

"What's the entry age of this place anyway? There are a lot of teenagers here," Elis remarked, drinking from the white styrofoam cup.

"Sixteen, but basically everyone's allowed here," Gray beamed. Unlike Elis, she'd been enjoying her time at the old bar. "It's where everyone goes to enjoy themselves. I expect you to know this seeing as you've lived here before."

"I never went out much."

"Riiiight," Gray dragged the word, and then she abruptly burped.

Time sort of stopped as both girls stared at each other shortly before they fell into a fit of laughter.

"You're drunk," Elis said between her laughs, drinking the rest of the intoxicating liquid and discarding of the cup.

"No," the shorter girl laughed. "You're drunk, not me."

Each had about seven cups of alcohol for the two hours that they spent at the night bar, seated alone in the corner and gazing at the scenes unfolding in front of them. But it was when Love My Way by Psychedelic Furs played that Gray refused to remain in her seat. She stood up enthusiastically, extending her hand out to a barely awake Elis.

"Elis!" The shorter girl laughed, awaking a stunned Elis at once. "How dare you sleep at a night bar?"

The intoxicated ginger girl pulled Elis up, looking into the taller girl's chestnut eyes and holding her gaze. "May I have this dance?"

Although she asked, Gray didn't give her the opportunity to reply and proceeded to pull Elis into the crowd of drunk dancers whom chose to forget their identities for the night being.

"Why did we even come here?" The taller girl remarked, but Gray had started to dance in front of her. If she could dance like that, Elis would rather have her do it in the confines of her bedroom, dressed in minimal clothing that showed more of her than anyone's ever seen.

"Because it's a summer night!" The dancing girl shouted over the music and over the joyful and exuberant screams.

"Do you have to be so optimistic about everything?

"Yes!" The shorter girl yelled. "It's time! Come on. Let's enjoy while we're still young!"

"You speak like we're suddenly going to wake up and find ourselves fifty years old or something!"

"It's better to make most of everyday."

"For what reason? Because you never know when it's gonna all end?" The taller girl countered bitterly, thinking of Bryson and the abrupt ending of his life.

"No, Elis." The ginger girl momentarily halted her dancing to hold Elis by the waist, tugging on the faded yellow billowy shirt the taller girl wore. "Because... Because it's just better to do it that way. Yeah? I'm too drunk to think of a smart thing to say right now. So just shut up and dance."

"Be bossy like that when we're naked and alone, I promise you'll have me begging to be at your mercy."

The shorter girl laughed, her cheeks stained red as she continued to dance in the living night, somewhere only a few people knew existed. And soon Elis had joined her, giving into Gray's openness and not thinking of anything else. She decided to let it go, the thoughts, the memories, the worries, she let it all go as she threw her arms up in the air and danced to imagine a perfect life.

But time passed faster than she'd whished, as both girls were now on the street and walking towards their homes. They continuously stumbled on their feet as they did, their drunken laugher filling the silence as they leaned against each other.

"Wait," the shorter girl stopped walking, making Elis stop too. "Let's stay here for a while."

There was a bench on the side that Elis followed her to. And as the ginger girl walked in front of her, Elis reached out to circle her arms around Gray's waist, lifting her feet off the ground. Her stunned laughter filled Elis's ears, appearing musical and ultimately better than anything she's ever heard before.

But that's exactly what Gray was.

She was someone, in all ways and form, unlike Elis has ever been exposed to before. She challenged her to let down her walls, to live freely and unapologetically. She was leading Elis more and more into her carefree world that consisted of nothing but the will to be happy. To find joy in the saddest things and so with finding light in the darkest realities.

And maybe along living in the midst of her melancholy, Gray was who Elis was waiting to find, and this summer that they found each other was a summer Elis was waiting to live.

So it was when they sat on the rusted bench in that deserted street, on that perfect night under those shining stars, that Elis pulled Gray by her side, holding her without intentions of ever letting go. "Take all of me, take it. Everything that I am. I don't want to be anything if it does not include you."

Gray pulled her close, absorbing the taller girl's words as she kissed her on that summer night. Their lips that tasted of alcohol lingered against each other as their hot breaths mixed together.

"And if this be damned," the taller girl continued, nuzzling her head on the neck of Gray as if to seek protection from everything she was afraid of. "Then you're my very own sin."

Gray wrapped her arms around Elis, both girls staying on that bench for as long as their time in the night stretched out. And if finding the stars meant that they found ways into each other's hearts, then they've gladly done just that. They've found the stars.