Hold Me While You Wait

19|binded by unfathomable disasters

binded by unfathomable disasters

"Thank you guys for coming," Mrs Collins politely said to the two women who were in their car, about to drive away.

The blonde woman waved one last time as her wife began to drive away, leaving the driveway empty, the prints of the car on the soil being the only reminder of them ever being there.

"Ah, how lovely. I always knew they would get married some day," Mrs Collins smiled, her hands clasped together as she looked at the spot their car once stood. They've been standing on the porch, Gray and Aunt Lauren both by Elis's sides. And it was Gray who secretly looked to read the quiet Aunt Lauren's expressions over the two married women.

"They were truly meant to be with each other," Mrs Collins ecstatically continued, but it was when Elis looked at her that she felt a tremor of anger growing in her.

"Is that so?"

Mrs Collins looked at her daughter who had her hands tucked in the pockets of her jeans, a clearly disgusted look lacing her face.

"Yes," Mrs Collins affirmed. "They're so lovely together it's beautiful to watch."

Elis shrugged. "I don't think so "

"What do you mean?" Mrs Collins questioned.

"Mom... How could we think such a relationship fits in with absolutely everybody? There are so many people out there who don't understand this kind of stuff."

"Elis," Gray countered, her small voice lost between that of mother and daughter, both females stuck in an atmosphere that had quickly escaped the kindness of joy to result into a bitter one of self-destructive thoughts and intense outbursts.

"Calm down, Elis."

"Calm down? No. No. I won't."

"Elis--"

The curly haired girl walked back inside the house. Her legs took her up the stairs and into her room, where the sorrowful girl quickly opened the door leading to the balcony and clutching her hands tightly against the rail. And it was in that time that she screamed. She screamed for the entire world to hear everything she was feeling, everything she could not say nor be able to put to words because even she couldn't understand it herself.

And by the time she stopped, her chest felt constrained, her tears on the verge of falling down her face.

The curly haired girl couldn't understand what she had to give to not feel such intense despair, such utter loneliness in the life she understood greatly robbed her off everything. It took away the only reason Elis felt like she wanted to live. It took away her strength, the only person she's ever looked up to and the only person who's memory will forever be with her, along with the pain it brought.

Her head was in a mix of thoughts when the door slowly opened, revealing the ginger girl who stepped into the room. And it was upon hearing her that Elis looked at the blue sky for the last time before she closed the door of the balcony, stepping back into her room and towards a concerned Gray.

"Elis. What happe--"

Elis couldn't let her continue as she kissed her, so roughly and entirely desperate as she pinned the ginger girl against the wall, pulling her closer by the sides of her face.

"Elis..." The shorter girl tried again but Elis couldn't let her continue.

"Don't talk," Elis breathed, moving her hand over to Gray's most sensitive area. "Please."

Elis didn't disconnect their lips as her other hand roamed around Gray's chest.

As much as Gray wanted to know what happened with Elis, she couldn't deny how much she wanted her to do what she was doing now, even it if distracted her from the questions she wished to ask.

"Can I continue?" The taller girl asked, leaving a delicate kiss on Gray's shoulder, who simultaneously nodded. Upon her consent, Elis pushed the sleeves off Gray's shoulders, pulling the sundress down until it bunched on the floor around the ginger girl's feet.

"Why'd you do t-that? Downstairs," Gray sighed, locking her arms around the taller girl's neck.

"I don't know..."

"But isn't what you spoke against what you're doing right now?" The ginger taller girl cooed, looking at the taller girl's distressed face.

"I'm a mess. I know it," Elis replied.

But that was all their lives were. Conjoined insane messes that Elis had welcomed rather than disputed. She didn't know how to not fall into the trap of excessive emotions with the tremor of differing thoughts that always lead her sanity into greater incohesion, her mind contradicting her heart in countless occasions. Especially when she looked at Gray, that all uncertainties and confusion rose. But although she felt so many things with her, Elis still felt the purest and overall assured, like she could say something and it would not fall to deaf ears.

That was the kind of care that Gray showed. She was an angel Elis was dumbfounded to how has arrived into her life, but was insanely happy that along Gray's conquest of being a teenager in a summer she's anticipated, she also managed to meet Elis because she stepped into her life and changed it. The taller girl let Gray into her world and she became it.

So the ginger girl cried out, shutting her eyes closed when Elis continued her touching her body, as if feeling every inch of Gray was a desperate move of hers, like a person spending a thousand years underwater and only coming up for air.

The ginger girl lost her balance that she would have fallen to the ground had it not been for the hold of Elis's arm around her waist. By now, she thought she'd be used to Elis touching her in that way, but every time that she did, it still felt as good as the first time. Even more good as the shorter girl desperately clutched on Elis's shirt for something to tug on. And she'd be there should Elis ever need to forget about her grief, either it be through talking or touching her in the way only Elis has ever done.

And as Elis continued her perfect distraction in that summer afternoon, Gray turned her head to look out the balcony at the setting sun, her harsh breaths mixed with Elis's as the taller girl stopped everything to look into the ginger girl's eyes, telling all of her feelings through that one affirmative stare. . .

Elis knew so clearly, something only the ginger girl made her feel. And although the curly haired girl couldn't fathom what came over her earlier, there was something so blatantly honest, free of ambiguity and so goddamn clear that arose from her emotional state of unconsciousness. And that was the overwhelming love towards Gray. Elis had fallen in love with Gray. And that was the first time she's only ever felt romantic love. And she knew without judgement, that Gray was her person in this life. That no matter how long their time would last, no matter what else might happen in their future, Elis would always be in love with her.