Insomnia • Akutagawa x Reader x Atsushi

1

Why me?

You stand against the wall behind and furthest away from the cashier counter just beside the wall of jars containing different tea mixes, the tea shop relatively quiet and empty as midnight is slow to approach, the moon outside a blurry ball of dim, silver light pouring through the windows ever so gently, the lighting inside the shop softer as well because of the hour; the space small and on the more traditional side. You're the only one on the night shift and your lack of sleep is really hitting you tonight, your head pounding, eye lids heavy and your whole body growing numb as you fight to stay awake.

Maybe if I close my eyes for just a few moments...

You desperately want to take a nap, maybe close the shop early if no one showed up, but even then you know you can't. Not just because you depend heavily on this job currently and it would be embarrassing to sleep after you begged to be given these shifts no one else wanted, but because the second you shut your eyes, you know you'll be sent into nightmares full of pain and fear, vision's of others experiences forcing you to feel it all vividly because of your ability.

Categorized as a type of healing ability with the name 'A Dream', you have the gift to take away people's worries briefly by contact, like a touch of ecstasy, a feeling of calmness and light. The person affected will be able to sleep peacefully for a few days, though the strength of the effect is different on everyone's stress levels, and in some cases you can put them to sleep completely should you touch them for a long enough time. However...there are consequences to your ability. Unlike the very specific conditions healing abilities tend to have included in the rarity of them, your ability directly affects you while your conditions are close to none. When you activate your ability and touch the other person, most effectively their head though anything works as long as it's skin to skin contact, the physical stress of their emotional wounds don't just disappear, they transfers to you in the form of nightmares. The greater the stress, the worse the dream. Some nights sleeping is no longer an option, and sometimes it's hard to keep track of what's real and what isn't after too long.

In your past, you've held back in using your ability for others even though you know they've been in need, all for your own inability to take any more suffering. Now, you can't close your eyes without seeing nightmares and the faces of those you allowed to suffer. You wish the feeling would disappear, you wish you could numb yourself further...but you are human.

Just one day at a time.

I'm here to forget. Even if it haunts me with every wink of sleep I get.

Interrupting your drifting train of thought, the small bell hung above the door rings as it is hit gently, the entrance to the tea shop opening to a young man with pale skin and raven dark hair, a black coat wrapped around his lean figure. He moves with a careful elegance carrying broken confidence, grey eyes landing on you without much emotion as he walks in almost silently.

"Welcome! How may I-"

Wait.

Why does he look so familiar..?

Your previous exhaustion disappearing for the next few moments, a lump lodges in your throat as flashes of a young boy doing anything to protect his sister and vise versa causes you to lose your place in your generic welcoming sentence, a gasp suppressed under the smile you try to keep afloat so to not look as dumbfounded as you feel.

Is it...is it him?

Walking towards the front counter, your customer-intended smile faltering the closer you get, a heavy air around the young man causes you to tense up. With the tea shop dimmed and most of the light coming from the moon outside, you can almost hear the screams of the past, his hand holding his sister's, the sound of the ocean being the only comfort amongst the other dangers every night would bring. Your eyes look him over with curiosity, an uncomfortable recognition flooding all you senses, his terrified eyes of the days in the slums hardly changed, just emptier. Colder. No longer terrified but dull.

I thought they'd be dead. Everyone else was.

What was his name?

Ryu...nosuke?

That's right!

Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

"What are you doing?" He suddenly asks, impatient, low voice ringing in your ears and bringing you back to the present.

Does he not remember me?

"Sorry, how may I help you?"

Alone and here after midnight when the rest of the city sleeps...

Is he still running like I am?

As you listen to his order, you simply nod and smile, your thoughts hardly grounded as you go on to make his ordered tea, biting your lip gently as you do deep in thought. What started as a night like any other on your late night shifts has turned into a dream you never thought you'd relive, seeing a face you thought was gone forever.

You're curious, to say the least.

What's happened since then?

There's one way to find out without asking him...

Waiting on the tea, you glance at him standing right where you left him, his eyes now covered by a pair of black and black tinted glasses you were assuming are some type of sun glasses, though it was a bit out of place if there was no sun to hide from. His gaze is on a phone in his slim hands, his face seemingly unbothered for the moment. Still, you know there's pain somewhere in there. You could see it standing directly in front of him.

Looking away once the tea is done and then walking over, placing it in front of him as you notice the exact amount owed is already in cash on the counter, adrenaline rushes through you as you make the split decision to place your hand on top of his as it reaches for the tea, your eyes wide as you scramble together an excuse, activating your ability with pure selfish reasons as it often resulted in being.

"Please be careful! It's really hot." You exclaim stupidly, earning a questionable look from Akutagawa and getting your hand pushed away soon after.

It's ok, a touch is all I needed.

"I know." Is all he says, turning away with tea in hand, disappearing back into the night with as little noise as he came in, leaving you alone as you were before, like he was never there in the first place.

Sweet dreams, Akutagawa.

Checking the clock, you realize your shift is almost over, letting out a sigh and a yawn as you move to clean the equipment in the tea shop and have them ready for those that would be here first thing in the morning. Soon, after you are ready to lock up and head to your rented apartment, you feel your whole body drift back into its tired state, your movements slow and your mind feeling sluggish. Leaving the shop behind, walking under the watchful stars, there is nothing you want more than to sleep.

Of course, the question now was what you would see and feel as soon as your eyes closed and the effect's of Akutagawa's memories and emotional burdens hit you.

Maybe I should have just asked him how he's been.