Sketchbook

Chapter 12

No words came out of my mouth. No thoughts came to my head. I didn't know how to react. The guy who left me alone. The guy who shattered my heart into pieces. Charles McCannon is sitting on my bed out of breath. The window was open with a ladder leaning against it, so he clearly climbed through it.
When he locked eyes with me, he instantly got onto his feet and ran towards me. He got down to my level and grabbed my face with both hands. He was clearly relieved to see me.
"Oh my god, Jayda I never thought I'd see you again." He started smiling and was about to kiss me, but I pushed him away. My eyes started watering, but I refused to cry in front of him. "Jayda, please, I came here to talk to you." He tried getting closer.
"There's nothing to talk about," I say quietly trying my absolute hardest to not lose my shit and go off on him.
"No, no, there's so much to talk about, you don't understand. I didn't ask for any of this to happen." He spoke so fast that I almost wanted to sit down and listen to him, but I was beyond furious with him. Everything just didn't make sense to me. I wanted an explanation, but I wanted to kick his ass out and never see him again at the same time. It was too much to process at once.
"You don't know what the fuck I've been through without you," I say angrily with another calm tone.
"I know, baby, and I'm so sorry I put you in that situation." His eyes began to water.
"It wasn't a situation! It was 10 months!" I yell out losing my cool. "I spent the last 10 months crying myself to sleep, constantly feeling broken and worthless because you weren't there anymore! You left me alone! You left me all alone, you selfish motherfucker!!" My face was soaked with tears. A large lump in my throat was taking away my voice.
"Jayda-"
"I had nightmares! I screamed in my sleep! I've been physically hurt, and I had nobody to turn to!"
"Jayda, pleas-"
"Why did you leave me, Charles??!!! Why!?" I was whimpering. I had unconsciously backed up towards a wall and slid down. I hugged my knees crying loudly into them. Charles had eventually crouched down next to me and put his hand on my knee rubbing it gently.
"I- I'm here now," he said just above a whisper. I refused to listen to his voice. No matter how bad I wanted to just jump into his arms, I was furious with him. I lost it.
I lift my head up almost immediately. "Get out!! Get the fuck out!" I start pushing him away. He barely moves, so I get up and push him away harder. He's still able to resist which fills me with rage. I start hitting his chest, but he quickly grabs my wrists and attempts to wrap his arms around me and calm me down again after these 10 long months. I keep trying to push him away, but my desperate need for affection takes over. Eventually, I stopped struggling and let him hug me, and I just cried on his shoulder. It felt so wrong to let him back into my life, but I missed his touch too much.
     "Jayda, hug me back, please." He said in a whisper.
     I was hesitant to listen.
     "Please." He said desperately.
     I hugged him back and tightly too. I continued to cry and he rubbed my back. God, I missed that feeling of him rubbing my back. It's as if that little gesture could save a life.
     After a while, he let go but kept his hands clutched on my arms. "I have a lot of explaining to do." He said.
     "You're damn right, you do," I said in a serious tone.
He sighed before turning around to sit on my bed once again. I stood directly in front of him, waiting for him to speak. This was going to be juicy.
"Do you remember... the last time you saw me... I told you I was going on a trip with my mom?"
"I remember," I say while crossing my arms.
"Well... it turns out my mom wasn't completely honest with me."
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
He takes a deep breath. "My mom is the reason why I left you."
I just look at him confused. What the hell did his mom do to separate us? "What?" I say.
"The Friday before we were supposed to leave, I woke up really late. I tend to wake up late which makes me late for school, so that's why I didn't go sometimes. Anyways, I woke up around 11 to find all of my things packed up in suitcases, like everything. I went downstairs to find my mom, but as I'm walking through my house, I notice everything else is packed too: the pictures, decorations, dishes, everything. I go out the front door, and I see a moving truck in the driveway with the kitchen table and chairs already in it. I finally find my mom talking to some guy. I go up and confront her. I ask her what's going on and she said 'What does it look like? We're moving.' I then started arguing with her. I was like 'Why are we moving? You know I can't leave. Jayda is gonna have a baby, I have to be there.' That's when she told me. She said we were moving because I got you pregnant. She didn't want me to be raising a kid yet, so she forced me out of your life."
Even after all that explanation, I still didn't understand. Why would his mother try to keep him away at a time he's needed most? Also, why couldn't he just say no? He is 18 after all, well, 19 now. So I ask, "Why couldn't you prevent her from making you leave?"
"It's complicated. She's the one that makes the money in our house, and my dad is always away on business. Basically, I had to go with her because if I stayed here and she left, I would have nothing."
"Why didn't you just tell me? I texted you multiple times, but you never responded." I started feeling upset again.
"I couldn't find my phone, my mom had taken it away, so I wouldn't be able to contact anyone."
"But-" I hesitated.
He looked up at me. "But what, baby?"
My eyes got watery as I spoke, "What about the messages to Brady?" Gosh, just saying the name made me break into 2. I contemplated whether or not I should tell him about Brady.
"What messages?" He said with a serious look on his face.
     "You said you didn't want to be with me anymore, that you weren't ready to be a father." A tear rolled down my cheek as I spoke.
     Charles got up and stood in front of me before pulling me into his embrace. I cried in his shoulder once again. "My mom had to have sent that message. I never spoke to him, Jayda, I never spoke to anybody." After a minute, he spoke again. "Listen to me, I promised you I would never leave you. I'm so sorry for what I put you through, but I came back to you. I'm right by your side where I always should've been, and I'm not going anywhere, so please don't cry." I shook my head while it was buried in his neck. He doesn't understand why I'm crying, but I have to tell him.
     "Charles, I'm not crying because of you," I said without lifting my head.
     "Well, then what is it?"
     I got scared and stayed silent. He lifted my head up from him and looked me in the eye. "Baby, what is it?" I lowered my head again shaking my head, more tears flowing. He lifted my chin. "Jayda. What happened?" He sounded a lot more serious.
     I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "Brady." I simply said.
     "What about Brady?"
     "He-" I choked and looked away. He pushed the hairs out of my face. I cleared my throat. "He r-" I choked up again and covered my face and shook my head again. I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to think about this anymore. He removed my hands and lifted my head again.
     "Calm down," he said while caressing my face, "tell me what happened?"
     I took a deep breath. "Charles... Brady raped me." I was looking down when I said it. I didn't see his reaction until I realized he didn't say anything yet. I looked up at him, and to say he was shocked is an understatement. I couldn't describe the look on his face. I swallowed again out of nervousness.
     His lip started to quiver when he spoke. "What?" That was all he said. I just nodded to let him know how sure I was. "He put his hands on you?" He said with his teeth together. He sounded furious like he was about to explode. His hands were balled into fists, and his eyes were watery. He never stopped looking directly at me. I didn't want him to break something or hurt himself somehow, so it was my turn to calm him down. I caressed his face while holding his hand. He instantly relaxed his muscles. "I'm gonna kill him." He said.
"No," I said shaking my head, "I just wanna move on from it."
He steps away from me. "Move on? You wanna just move on from that?"
I lost count of how many times I started crying.
"Jayda." He said calmly.
I started walking towards him still crying and held my arms out like a child wanting to be held again. He sighed and held me close.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not just gonna let him get away with this." He said.
I wiped my tears and walked towards my bathroom. Tears were wet and dried up on my face, so I went to wash my face. I dried off my face and looked in the mirror to see Charles standing behind me. I turned around looking away from him. I was still a bit shocked that he came back. He grabs my hand with his and lifts my chin with the other. Now we're looking at each other. He just stares at me for a moment before speaking.
"I missed you so much, Jayda," he pauses, "I'm so sorry." He starts tearing up. However, when I pull him towards me into a kiss, that's when the tears fell. I grabbed his hand and led him to the bed, so we could sit down, and I put his head on my shoulder, so he could cry. I've actually never seen him fully cry like this before. "Jayda, I was so scared you wouldn't love me anymore."
I realized then that it's too difficult to do such a thing. I don't think you can un-love someone. When you truly love someone, you can have a strong hatred towards them for anything, but that hatred never lasts forever. You'll always love that person no matter what, even if you were destined to be separate.
"That's impossible," I said quietly.
Then we sat there for what felt like forever. Charles started falling asleep on my shoulder, so we both laid down. I was surprisingly not tired, well, probably because of the long nap I took in the bath. Instead, I just watched him sleep. I had my arms wrapped around his neck, and my hands running through his slightly longer hair. He honestly looked a lot better with his hair slightly longer. A lot sexier too.
     Suddenly, I heard a bunch of movement downstairs. It sounded like plastic bags and footsteps indicating that Mother was home. She can't know that Charles is back. She'll be pissed, and worse, tell Father. All hell will break loose if Father finds Charles here. I had to wake him up.
     I jumped up and shook Charles awake. "Charles! Charles, get up, hurry!" I say in a loud whisper. He instantly shot his head up in surprise. "My mother is home, you have to hide!"
     "Oh shit!" He said and quickly got up and hid in the bathroom. Before he closed the door, I told him I'd be right back. He nodded and shut the door. Then, I headed downstairs. Mother was currently putting groceries away, and Damien was still in his car seat on the floor wide awake. I picked him up and took him into the living room. I guess Charles deserves to see his child. I took my precious child out of his car seat and wrapped him in his blanket. I headed back to my room and opened the door. Charles didn't come out, probably being cautious. I shut the door behind me and called for him to come out. "Charles... someone's been waiting to meet you." He slowly opened the door a bit confused. When he saw what I had in my arms, his eyes went wide. He came towards me, and I could clearly see he was about to cry.
"I-it's a b-boy?" He said. I nodded with a big smile. He smiled so big and started laughing. He took him from my hands gently. The sight in front of me was so beautiful. Charles smiling at his beautiful baby boy while his baby boy smiles back. God, I missed that smile. Now that I can see the comparison, Damien is the spitting image of Charles. "What's his name, Jayda?"
"Damien."
"Damien Joseph?" His smile had disappeared and he was looking at me with a serious look. I just looked down. Now, I regret giving him my last name.
"I-I'm sor-"
"No, it's okay, it's okay," he said, "I totally understand. Everyone with my last name is fucked up anyway. I'm glad you gave him your name."
     I nodded and looked up at him. He was looking back at Damien with another big smile. "Charles?"
     He went to put Damien in his crib and came back towards me. "Yea?" he responded while holding my hands.
     "I love you."
     "I love you too." He pulls me into another kiss.
Out of nowhere, my bedroom door slams open making the both of us jump. Damien even starts crying. I wanted to comfort him, but the person standing in the doorway made me fear for my life. Father was storming into my room filled with rage as he sees the man who mentally tortured me for the past 10 months. "Father, don't, please stop!" Of course, he wouldn't listen. He reached Charles and punched him in the face sending him straight to the floor. He then got on top of him sending him punches after punches, and Charles wasn't even fighting back. He must've felt like he deserves this, so he's taking it. I tried to pull Father off of him and yelled at him constantly to stop, but he wouldn't budge. Mother soon ran into the room and helped me get Father off of Charles. Shockingly, it worked. Father got to his feet, and Charles was still on the floor with a now busted lip and red cheek. I could tell a bruise was forming.
     "You get the fuck out of my house, and don't ever come back, you little shit!" Father yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Christopher!" Mother yells at Father.
I couldn't even cry at this point. I cried enough. I had a straight face through this whole situation, but the moment Charles got up and headed for the door, my heart broke. "Charles, where are you going?" I asked. He didn't answer, just kept walking. I ran after him and grabbed his arm. "Charles, don't go!" I said. He stopped walking and slowly turned around.
"I already told you I'm not going anywhere." He said assuringly. He then gave me a hug but whispered something in my ear. "I'll be back tonight, okay, wait for me." I nodded in response. He kissed my cheek before letting go and walking away.
     Father was now directly behind me. "Jayda, what the hell was he doing here?" He was yelling at me. It made me cry. No, it made me breakdown. I fell to my knees feeling nothing but agony. I couldn't breathe from how much I was crying. Father came next to me and held me. "Honey, what's wrong now?" I just shook my head. It was too much to explain. He wouldn't get it. "Honey, I don't know what to do if you don't tell me what's wrong."
     "That's the thing, Father, you don't kno-ow!" I snapped and pushed him off of me and got to my feet. "There's s-so m-m-mu-uch y-you do-o-on't know! Y-You do-o-on't un-nd-derst-stand!" I could barely speak from the amount of tension in my voice. My face was soaking wet from tears.
     "What happened, Jayda?" He sounded aggravated.
     I just continued to cry very loudly. I couldn't speak at that point.
     Father got to his feet. "Jayda, breathe, honey. Tell me what happened."
     I tried to even my breathing as best as I could. I wiped my face, and finally, after all this time, I finally came clean. "Father I-I-" my voice cracked, so I took another deep breath and said it, "I was raped." I started crying again because of the look on Father's face and how scared I was of it. He was shocked and angry at the same time. I came closer to him missing some physical affection. He instantly pulled me into his embrace. I buried my face in his chest sobbing once more. He runs his hand up and down my back.
"Who did it?" He said calmly, but I could feel the anger burning through.
"Brady Wilms did it." There it is. All of that built-up fear and anxiety that was stuck inside of me all this time was slowly being released. I felt so much better now that I told.
"When did this happen?" Father asked.
     I saw Mother standing right behind Father in tears as well. I looked away. "Right after Charles left," I said just above a whisper.
     He let me go and looked me dead in the eye. "That long ago? Why didn't you say anything?" He started yelling again.
     "Honey, don't yell at her right now." Mother said to Father.
     "I'm sorry," Father said. "We're pressing charges, though."
     I snapped my head in his direction hurting my neck more. "No! Don't press charges!" I yelled. I was so scared of what Brady might do to me if he got in trouble.
     "Why?" Mother said very confused.
     "I don't want him to hurt me again, Mother," I said surprisingly not crying.
     "No one is gonna touch you ever again, do you understand me, especially him," Father said. I nodded.
     After our discussion, Mother and Father decided to press charges at some point. They left for the police station while I stayed home. I wanted to sleep. All of what happened today just drained me of energy. I changed out of my pants and quickly fell asleep. Damien was crying before but eventually fell back asleep. I don't remember when, but I was glad to finally have some peace and quiet.

~Charles' POV~

     When I left Jayda's house, I was planning on heading back to my place but decided to make a quick stop down the road... to Brady's house. However, when I got there, all I saw were police cars, an ambulance, and yellow tape surrounding the property. What the hell happened? I ran towards the house and entered through the back door, sneaking past the police. All around the house, there was broken glass, flipped furniture, and blood in some areas. Evidence identification markers were next to everything. Holy shit.
     I tiptoed upstairs and was about to turn the corner towards the hall where Brady's bedroom is but stopped immediately when I heard 2 grown men talking in that direction. I peaked my head past the wall. I could tell the men were in his bedroom. I snuck through the halls and hid in the bathroom. I could see into Brady's bedroom from there and saw how messy it was. Brady's room is usually a mess, but this looked like someone vandalized it. I saw the 2 men but no Brady. I decided to sneak back downstairs towards the living room. I saw more blood-splattered and lots of glass on the floor. Accidentally, I stepped on the glass getting someone's attention from inside the living room.
     "Excuse me, but who are you?" The man said. He was tall and lean.
     "Charles," I said simply.
     "May I ask what you're doing here?"
     "I was looking for Brady." The man then looked at me confused.
     "Brady Willms?" He asked.
     "Yes, sir," I said.
     "What's your relationship with Brady?"
     "He's my best friend, well, was now," I said with anger.
     "Son, do you not know what happened?"
     "No, what happened? Did someone rob him or something?"
     "Son, I need you to listen to me, alright?"
     The tone in his voice and choice of words made me anxious. "Sir, what happened?" I said worried.
     "Listen to me. Your friend... was killed."
     My eyes shot open and filled with tears. "W-What??" I said.
     At that moment, I saw a camera flash from the living room. I needed to see what was going on. I tried walking past the man, but he stopped me. "Son, you can't go in there, you need to leave." I completely pushed him away and dashed into the living room. What I saw I knew would scar me for life. There was blood all over the floor, a big knife covered in blood, and right next to it was a dead body. It was Brady. He was blue and lifeless. Blood was surrounding his neck which is probably where the piece of glass cut him. I was about to go up to him, but was instantly pulled back by the same man.
     "BRADY!!! Brady!!" I kept yelling his name. "Who did this?!!!" I yelled at the man.
     "You need to leave-"
     "Who did this!!!!!?" I turned towards the man.
     "We believe it was his sister, son."
     "What??" I said, "she would never do such a thing, she's too loving and soft."
     "You know his sister?" He asked.
     "Of course, I do. Her name is Gabrielle. She was adopted when she was born."
     "Do you have any idea where her whereabouts might be?" He asked.
     "Wait, she's missing?"
     "She's been missing for some time now. We just now got the call to come investigate, don't know why it took so long, but yea."
     I couldn't bare what was going on any longer, and I ran out of the house. I hid behind a large bush and cried my eyes out. Brady... he's dead, but what the hell happened with him and Gabrielle. Where did she go?