Ginny has started her second year at Hogwarts, and she's planning to spend it WITHOUT a run-in with Snape, her lovesick lunatic of a Potions teacher. Her plan's actually working . . . that is, until she bumps into him in the Astronomy Tower.
Ginny: (drops telescope) Look man, my parents don't have a lot of money, and they payed six Sickles — (looks up) Oh nooooooo. Not you. Anyone but you. (attempts to run away)
Snape: LILY, MY LOVE!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!! (throws arms around her)
Ginny: (angry) (pushes him off) Alright, dude. Number One: NEVER touch me. Number Two: There's this new thing called TAKING YOUR YEARLY SHOWER. Number —
Snape: (looks dreamy) Shhhhhhh Lily, you talk too much. And I want to talk to you — about something that's been on my mind for awhile . . .
Ginny: (calls down stairway) Does anyone know a good cliff to throw myself off of?
Snape: Lily . . . We've known each other for a long time, and since you're a ghost, you've already graduated from Pigfarts once —
Ginny: Ghost?? PIGFARTS?! HUH?!
Snape: LILY MY FLOWER!! (gets down on one knee) WILL YOU MARRY ME???
Ginny: (eyes get big) HELP!!! HELP!! SOMEBODY CALL 911!!! I DON'T KNOW THIS MAN!!!! (tries to run away)
Snape: Well, I'll have to get your sister's blessing first . . .
Ginny: (relaxes a little bit) Oh good. For a second there I thought you would force me into marriage . . . That would be living —
Luna: (walks up stairway) (misty voice) Oh hello Ginny. Good morning Professor Snape.
Snape: (growls) Hello Tuney. Your sister and I were just getting married . . . Do we have your blessing?
Ginny: Thank GOD YOU'RE HERE Luna — Listen, could you tell this whack-a-mole we're not really getting married?
Luna: Well, as long as the wrackspurts don't interfere, I think you'll be fine Ginny. I'll be your bridesmaid at the wedding. (smiles dreamily)
Ginny: (jaw drops) Huh?
Snape: Thank you for your tolerance, Petunia. Your sister and I won't bother you ever again.
Scabbers: (jumps up on Ginny's shoulder)
Snape: LILY, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH PETER??!!!!
Ginny: NO YOU PEA-BRAIN!!! IT'S JUST MY BROTHER'S RAT, SCABBERS!! Uggg, I'm not marrying you, and I'm going to Astronomy!
Meanwhile, down in the Charms Classroom, Fred and George are bored, and decide to pull out none other than the Marauder's Map.
George: OI, FRED!! WHO'S THAT GROWN MAN NAMED PETER, SITTING ON OUR LITTLE SISTER'S SHOULDERS???!!!!
Fred: (shrugs) I think it's the same man who's slept with our younger brother every night for the past three years.
George: So he's like a homeless man, targeting our family?
Fred: Yeah pretty much . . . Let's not question him or judge him.
George: Wanna go to Hogsmeade for some butterbeer?
Fred: Sure!
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Adventures in Sninny --- A Dumb HP Ship
FanfictionIt's Ginny's first year at Hogwarts --- You think that Riddle's diary would be hard enough, right? But NO. Her potions teacher, Severus Snape, is convinced she is the ghost of Lily Evans Potter: his old best friend and crush. Read this short, sweet...
