Would destiny permit?

001

Don't you know I'm no good for you?
I've learned to lose you, can't afford to
Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'
But nothin' ever stops you leavin'

Quiet when I'm comin' home and I'm on my own
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

Don't you know too much already?
I'll only hurt you if you let me
Call me friend but keep me closer (call me back)
And I'll call you when the party's over

[When the party's over by Billie]

*Phone rings*

*Answers it*

"Hello?", I answered, feeling a bit irritated with the call for interrupting my senti moment.

"Hello Michie, this is mom. Can you open the door? Naiwan ko ang susi sa kwarto ko eh", sagot naman ni Mommy.

    I rushed to the door and welcomed her with a hug. She looks really tired maybe because mainit sa labas at galing pa siya ng palengke.

"Mom, sabi ko sa inyo ako na lang ang gagawa niyan eh. Pagod na pagod tuloy kayo", I scolded her sweetly.

    But same as always, she would only smile at me as if she never heard a thing. She likes doing things on her own and she calls it her obligation so I shouldn't meddle but I can't help it; I hate seeing her doing it all on her own.

"Ang mabuti pa anak, you call your kuya and dad para sabay na tayong makakain. I brought maja blanca, gusto nila yun lalo na ng papa mo", utos niya sakin.

I surrendered a heavy sigh.

    Paano ba naman kasi, dalawa lang kaming anak ni kuya pero parang ako ang panganay. He would always lock himself up in the room all day para maglaro ng mobile game tapos kapag natatalo, he would vent it out dito sa bahay.

    As for my awesome dad, kapag wala siya sa bahay, we guess he's with his other woman where he bore 3 kids with tapos he'll come back here whenever he wants because he knows my mom would always take him back.

    Housewife kasi ang mom ko. Few years back noong nag decide ang papa ko na iwan kami, hindi niya kinaya dahil wala siyang trabaho at hindi niya kami kayang buhayin. Kaya naman, noong bumalik ang magaling kong ama, kahit ayaw ko ay nagawa ko na ring magtiis para sa future naming lahat.

    Although it hurt me, kuya, especially mom, we did everything to be numb because the truth is, we can't live without him, not now.

    That's why, I promised my self that I'll never go for irresponsible and chickboys because they would only lead to disappointments and stress.

    Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na if one day I fall in love with someone, I'll make sure I will not regret it because I will never let myself fall for the abyss.

"Michie, did you hear me?", Mom called out again.

   I was zoned out a while ago kaya naman hindi ko na siya naintindihan but I managed to sneak to my brother's room para sabihing may meryenda na.

    This is the life of me as Michelle Cobb - a girl who excels in class, is outgoing, not to brag but a charmer, a Rapunzel in a tall tower (the difference in the cartoon is that I built the walls on my own), a lady who seems to have a perfectly normal life but is actually devastated inside.

    Sometimes I couldn't help but wish everything they think of me would come true but as I face reality, I realize that I should make an action to work on what I can change and accept what I cannot.