My Boy // m.f. xreader

missing you

Miles pov.

For weeks I've been out, searching for her, for my girl. It's been hard, I've made a mistake. Maybe it was me who was in the wrong, I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most.

Right now I'm in my room, staring out of the window. It's raining outside.

She used to love the rain.

I remember her dragging me out of my bed once, in the middle of the night. Just so she could go outside and dance in the rain. We danced and danced for hours without any music. Neither of us noticing the sun coming up again. I remember staring at her. At her beautiful laugh, her wonderful eyes full of joy, I loved watching how she was in her own world. Zoning out everything around us until her eyes landed on me. We were both soaking wet but neither of us cared about it.

That was one of many nights spend outside.

Or the time when me, Flora and her went outside for a walk trying to cheer up Flora when she felt sad about Kate leaving us. It began to rain which only made Flora even more sad. Luckily she made everything better, she never gave up and would do anything to make Flora happy. She grabbed Flora's hand and ran into the puddles, jumping to make the water go everywhere. Bot that it really mattered because the water was already everywhere due to the rain. They kicked the water, danced un the water and Flora had the biggest smile on her face. She did the impossible and made Flora smile again.

*knock knock*

The door to my room slightly opened revealing Flora in the opening.

"Any news yet?" Her voice said in a really soft tone, sounding like she was scared that the sound would break me.

"No" I managed to say, my voice cracking slightly because it was so sore from the crying.

"Oh" was all she said before walking up to me and pulling me in a hug. "I miss her." She added.

"Me too Flora, me too."

After that it stayed silent for a while. When I heard soft snoring I looked down at my sister. She was asleep. I picked her up bridal style and walked to her bedroom where I put her down on her bed.

I brushed the hair out of her face, tucked her in and gave her one last goodnight kiss. I stared at my sister for awhile, watching her sleep, watching the peaceful, innocent expression on her face. I know Flora has been hurting from the missing of... her.

I can't even say her name anymore, it just hurt too much. I loved the girl but I had to ruin it.

She didn't do anything wrong.

I made it seem like it was her fault but the truth is, it never was. I never thought it was.

I got scared, scared of being to close to her, scared of being hurt.

I didn't try to make her feel guilty, I didn't try to hurt her. I tried to make myself believe it. Make myself believe that she wasn't good enough for me. I tried to make myself believe that there was nothing wrong with me.

I tried as hard as I could but it didn't help.

I only hurt her,

I only hurt the love of my live.

I slowly stood up and walked out of the room, trying to make no sound.

I couldn't give up, not now.

With that thought I walked to my car and drove out again, looking for the love of my life.