𝙈𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙆𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙚 -𝘼𝙣 𝙄𝙨𝙚𝙠𝙖𝙞 𝙁𝙖𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙘-

In the Water's Glow

It's snowing today. The first day of snow this season. Finally. But, this is going to be the first time I'll have seen Hatori since the whole not kissing me incident. I'm extremely nervous about this, because Sobo's words she said about kissing in the snow keep coming back to my mind.

"Why are you sweating, Tanaka? It's just a field trip!" Koharu points out, as we sit in the bus.

"I know. It's just, uh, it's a little hot in this bus, don't you think." I nervously laugh, waving myself.

"Not really. You coming down with something?" Yes, a case of I might puke I'm so nervous.

"Nope."

"Hey, why didn't you tell me your birthday was on Wednesday?" Koharu asks me.

"Who told you?" I tried to not say anything about my birthday to anyone. Mainly because I was in a lot of pain, because Dad didn't even send a card.

"Aina told me. She said you weren't very happy when all of the girls in your volleyball team wished you a happy birthday."

"My birthday isn't uh, something I really care about." I lie. If I got five yen for every time I've lied to Koharu since I met her, I would probably be able to pay for the title Queen of Lying to go in front of my name. And I'd probably be able to buy a plot of land, and name it Lying Land.

"Oh, okay. Guess that's something we're not similar in. I love my birthday!" Koharu exclaims. "Hey, you think Hatori and the boys will be there?"

"Yes. They will be. Shigure told me the other day." My throat feels like sandpaper.

"Oh that will just be wonderful! It seems like we don't see them that much anymore." She sighs.

I see them all the time. Or did, I only see Shigure anymore. Mainly because Ayame gets on my every nerve. "Yeah, wonderful."

-------------------------------

"Tanaka?" Hatori walks up to me once we're in the aquarium.

"Uh, yes Hatori?" I gulp.

"Do you mind if we talk?" He asks.

I look around to make sure that Koharu isn't watching us. "Sure."

He takes my hand and leads me to a very empty part of the aquarium. Which, funnily enough, is where the seahorse tank is. "I owe you an apology, for you know." He doesn't say what, but I know what it is.

"It's fine. I realize it was probably rushed. And, by you not kissing me, I saved Hana's life." I try to play it cool. But, in reality it's not fine.

"Yes, but, I'm sure you thought it was really rude. And inconsiderate of me. I shouldn't have left you hanging. But I had to." He sighs.

The glow from the water and lights of the seahorse tank illuminate his face. "Tanaka, you are really, really amazing. Kind and caring. You've done so much for the Sohmas, for Akito, but really for me. You've always seemed to be there whenever I needed it most. But what have I done? I don't deserve you. Or your love."

"But that's not true. You've done so much. You've been kind, and the only person I feel like I could really open up to. You constantly keep an eye on your family members. And if it weren't for you, gosh, Ayame and Shigure would probably already be dead." I tell him. "I don't need you to be perfect. Always doing everything right. Cuz' heck, it's obvious that I'm not perfect."

"I'm still frozen snow. I can't give you the love you probably want." He argues.

"Do you remember what I said? That day, I said I was frozen snow too. That still stands to be true. You can still be in love, and love, even when you are frozen snow." I tell him. Why is this so hard for him to understand.

"You're still way to good for me. Taking me like the mess I am." He approaches me,

"We're all a little bit of a mess." I say, as I put my hand on his face.

"Are you going to let this time be real?" I ask him.

"The only way it won't be, is if you stop it."

And then it happens. Completely different than I used to imagine it. It doesn't taste like summer or happiness. It isn't quite like magic, or out of this world. I feel the most alive I've ever been in this life. It taste of sorrow, and snow beginning to melt and become spring.

Sobo was right, something important did happen. And I could feel it coming, because of the snow. The frozen snow, that cannot stay here forever, that will melt into a spring. A warm lovely spring.

I pray spring will come soon. I pray that it will come and stay. That the snow will melt. And that I was able to melt Akito's enough. That I did enough. I fought hard enough.