more life / b.simmons (2)

37

three months later

bens the only one up at 5:30 in the morning—besides the dogs. bane lays at his feet while milo sleeps in his dog bed. his computer screen is the only light in the house, besides the sun threatening to come out.

he clicks through the website, looking for baby clothes. they found out that they're having another boy a few days ago, and he's excited. a part of him wanted another girl, but he doesn't care as long as amari is carrying his child.

adding a few items to his cart, ben puts his chin in his hand and scrolls through the long lists of baby clothes, strollers, and other amenities. this is the first time he's ever actually looked for baby things. the first time amari was pregnant, they had a baby shower so he didn't have to do anything besides be there.

his scrolling and shopping is interrupted by his phone ringing; a call from the last person he'd expect to hear from at five in the morning.  but he click answer anyway. "hello?"

"ben?" her voice is shaky and unstable, but it sounds loud and he fears that everyone upstairs can hear their conversation, so he gets up and walks outside.

"yeah?"

"i-i- fuck," she whispers before she breaks down in tears. ben paces the back patio and analiese cries on the other line.

"just breathe, analiese. why'd you call me for?" he asks. analiese lets out a shaky breath and wipes her face on the sleeve of her shirt. just the thought of telling him that will possibly change the course of the world, and it makes her want to sob again.

"i-i'm p-p-pregnant."

ben nearly drops his phone after the world leave her lips. he falls into a chair and starts to sweat out of pure anxiousness. "what?"

"i'm pregnant," she cries, putting a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs, but they're loud and clear. she's pregnant. "i found out last week, but you're the first person i called." she adds, sniffling. it explains why he hasn't seen her around work lately. he thought she'd quit and he was fine with that, but instead, it's his that's growing inside of her.

"are you sure it's mine?" is the first thing he asks, rubbing his forehead. at this, analiese starts crying again. she's sure the baby is his. for several reasons.

"you're the only person i've been with recently, ben. and we didn't use a condom."

"i pulled out."

analiese scoffs. "and how effective is that?" ben sucks his teeth, but stays silent. she has a point, as everything that happened in the last three months has been a blur, so he can't argue if he pulled out in time or not. but he knows he pulled out.

after a beat of silence, ben asks, "are you keeping it?" analiese manages to not cry at this, but let's out a shaky breath.

"there's no point not to," she says, and while he expected that answer, his heart drops into his stomach.  he can't keep this from his family any longer.

they talk for a minute longer, and she tells him that she scheduled a doctors appointment for today at 11. he's going to be there.

ben hangs up and squeezes his eyes shut. he pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to comprehend the fact that he is about to have two kids, only a few months apart, by two different women. how he ended up here is easy but how he's going to get out of it is a mystery beyond his scope of knowledge.

entering the house again, he's thankful that it's only him and the dogs awake. he's not sure how he'd be able to tell anyone the news he just received over the phone.