From the Ruins [Teacher X Student]

Chapter 24

I slept in the next morning quite a bit. I was woken up to Jamie's soft touch on my back. "Calista," he whispered cautiously. "Hey, you've been asleep all day."

I slowly opened my eyes and he gently pushed my hair off of my face. I felt weak. I had no energy and I couldn't bring myself to move. Jamie gave me a sad look and asked, "Are you hungry? It's almost two."

I glanced over to the clock on the nightstand, but my eyes didn't focus. I looked back at Jamie and mustered up enough strength to barely shake my head no. Jamie laid next to me so he could look more directly at me. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I opened my mouth slightly to speak, and my words barely made it out, "I don't feel good."

"Like a stomach bug or cancer?" he asked, worried.

"Cancer," I whispered.

He nodded and rubbed my back. "Why don't you try to get up and eat something? Maybe you'll feel a little better," he suggested.

"I don't think I can," I said, closing my eyes. "I'm really tired."

Jamie sat up and said sternly, "Calista, get up. You have to get out of bed."

I opened my eyes again and spat back, "I don't want to."

"You were fine last night. Get up. Come on," he said, getting out of bed and stepping to my side. He pulled the covers off of me and rolled me over.

"Jamie!" I yelled, in pain. "Stop!"

"Get up!" There was desperation in his voice. He needed me to get up. He needed me to be okay, but I wasn't.

Tears fell from my eyes and I wiped them away. I shook my head, "I can't."

"Yes you can! Get up, Calista!" He pulled my arms and helped me stand. My body hurt. I was achey and exhausted.

"Jamie, please stop! I can't do it!" I yelled as he basically carried me to the bathroom.

He sat me down on the toilet and I leaned my head against the wall, tired and ready to go back to sleep. He stood in front of me and said, "You were fine yesterday."

"Well I'm not now!" I yelled at him. "I'm in so much pain! It hurts everywhere! I just want to go back to bed so I don't have to feel this anymore," I cried.

"Calista, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to sleep all day. I missed you," he said to me, saddened by my reaction.

"I just want to rest, Jamie," I said, rubbing my temple.

"I'm sorry," he said, softly.

A rush of emotions filled my head, forcing tears to form in my eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled," I managed to get out as I covered my eyes.

Jamie knelt down in front of me and comforted me, "Hey, it's okay. Don't be sorry. I'm sorry I tried to get you out of bed. You need to rest." He stroked my hair as he spoke.

I pulled myself together and said, "I'm okay. I can get up."

"No, Calista. Rest," Jamie urged.

"No, it's okay," I said as I attempted to stand, but I was too weak. I fell into Jamie's arms and he helped me back to bed.

He climbed in bed with me and held me close. His breathing was short, like he was trying to not be emotional. I looked up at him and said, "It's just a bad day."

"I'm scared you're going to have a lot more," he whispered, trying to force a smile out.

"I probably am," I whispered back. "I'm going to get worse."

"I don't want you to be in pain," he said, rubbing my arm.

"It'll be okay," I said and kissed his stubbly cheek. I fell back asleep shortly after, enjoying the warmth of his arms.

I woke up the next morning in the same position as we had been when I fell asleep. Jamie was asleep with his arms around me. I felt better than I had the day before, but not by much.

I wiggled my way from Jamie's grip to try to get to the bathroom. He sprang awake, "Calista, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just have to pee," I said to him as I hopped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom.

As I collapsed on the toilet and did my business, Jamie appeared in the doorway. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," I nodded.

"Yesterday was scary," he said softly.

"I know. It was for me too," I nodded. I washed my hands and splashed some water onto my face and then placed a towel on my face. I walked over to Jamie and gave him a big hug, burrying my face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around me and placed his hand on the back of my head. He kissed the top of my head before guiding my chin up to look at him. He held my chin and gave me a gentle kiss. When we separated, I said, "I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering when I'm actually going to die or tip toeing around the fact that I am dying. I want to be happy and enjoy my time with you and my friends, and our families. I want to have lots of really good sex, go to marching band rehearsals and competitions, travel and explore new places, and just enjoy it."

"I am one hundred percent down," he smiled.

"That wasn't a 'make a wish', bucket list type of thing by the way," I giggled.

Jamie chuckled and kissed my forehead, "Okay, baby."

"If we would have kids, since you're a twin, would there be a greater chance of us having twins?" I asked him, randomly.

"Uh, I honestly don't know. I thought it depended more on the mother's side," he said to me.

"I think we should try," I blurted out.

"For twins?" He asked, confused.

"Just a baby in general. Let's just see," I suggested.

"Are you sure, Calista? Do you think you'd be able to physically handle it?"

"I have to try," I stated. "I want this."

"I want it too," he nodded. We kissed and he picked me up and took me to the bed.

After we were done, we laid in bed together, catching our breath. Jamie had finished inside me for the first, intentional, time. We were really trying to have a baby. It felt so surreal to me.

After cuddling for a little bit, Jamie spoke, "So, yesterday, I did some research."

"Okay," I said, knowing where this was going.

"There's a lot of new treatments out there that result in people diagnosed with glioblastoma living up to five more years," he explained.

"Jamie, I don't want to waste anyone's time or resources if I'm just going to die," I sighed.

He scoffed, "You wouldn't be wasting anyone's time or resources, Calista. That's literally why doctors and medicine exist: to treat people with brain cancer." I sat in silence as he continued. "If you want to have a family, it only makes sense. Please think about it. I love you and I want as much time with you as possible." He kissed my cheek.

"Okay," I nodded. "I want a life with you. If there's anything I can do to prolong that, I want to do it," I agreed. "I'm just scared."

"I know. And that's okay. This is really scary, but you aren't alone. I am right here and I will be every step of the way, okay?" He assured me.

I nodded with a smile. He kissed me and then pulled me into a hug. As much as couldn't believe I was actually going through with treatment, I also couldn't believe that I had already given up.