Unspoken

Same Other You

To the same, other version of you. For a long time i had no words to this situation. I felt anger, distrust and ashamed. And guess what? I still feel anger, distrust and i am so ashamed of the person you are today- the person i used to love, who i used to trust. But guess this other thing for me; i dont fucking love a single bone in your body anymore. See and i have learned about how to respect other human beings. I know how to cherish and love people. And i could have felt all these things for you up to this day. Its not my fault that i fell out of love. Its not my fault that i grew as a person, and you just simply werent fit to grow with me anymore. People grow all the time, and its a good thing. And i understand that you are hurt. And if you need to hate me in order to heal, fine, you should do that.

You wanna tell people that i am not worthy of your "kindness" or your -or should I say- my money? Fine. Because I ignored your same, endless questions through text messages. I told you i was gonna quit answering. The fact that you decided that you wanted to talk, has not any more value compared the fact that i didnt want to talk. Its had the same worth. I didnt wanna talk, you did. Who were you to decide that you could have it your way?

I truly am disgusted by the way you talked to my mother. Where did you get the nerve to tone up to her like that.

It wouldn't have been more than reasonable if you had just given me what you still owed me.

Calling me a psychopath wasn't necessary at all. But luckily i know who i am and i know my worth.

I also want to point out something else. You and me started dating while we werent exactly in a healthy state of mind. And i was scared of falling back into my despression after we broke up. I remember being greatfull for all the things you did for me when i was facing some issues. But then i got happier. I got happier than i had ever been, without you. So eventhough we must have fixed eachother, i sure as hell fixed myself too. Because im not the one who is suddenly dropping out of school, or not being taken seriously at work. Or who's friends have made other friends. No. Im in school, and im making new friends. Im working for my money and i am building a future. Didnt need no nicotine to help me with that. I guess the reason why i say all these rude things is because, all i ever put in my last words to you was kindness and respect. I am gonna look back at this and i will think "mm, that didnt end nicely but at least i did what i could, and showed the best version of me." And i think you wont be able to think the same way.

So fuck you