Haz is Calling

Chapter 1: Voicemails

[Friday, July 23rd, 2010 - 10:14 PM]

Haz is calling...

Tommo: "Ello, mate. You've reached The Sass Master of Doncaster. Not sure why you decided to call instead of text, but I'm sure it's not that important. Don't bother leaving me a message cause I hate when them notifications start pestering me for the next 5 years."

At the tone, please record your message.

Beep.

Haz: "Hey Louis, it's your friend- " (with a sigh) "I mean, old friend Harry. Your voicemail gave me quite the laugh, it encapsulates your personality extraordinarily well. You have a pretty voice too." (jokingly, a hint of sorrow behind his words) "If I had known your accent was that adorable, I might have called earlier."

Haz: (to himself) "Is there a time limit on these things? To be honest with you, I'm not really sure how this works - voicemails, not phones - I know how most technology works, obviously."

Haz: "This is my first time leaving a voicemail, by the way." (rambling) "I know it probably seems like I'm lying, but to this day, I force my mom to make all my phone calls for me. I promise you, calling the doctor's office to book an appointment scares the living day out of me. How I've survived 16 years of life, I don't think we'll ever know."

Haz: "Anyways, I suppose I should probably address the elephant in the room, but if I stop speaking all of a sudden, I've likely died, or the phone's hung up on me. I guess that was the conclusion of that entire speech. God, I should've written this down."

Haz: "I don't blame you for ignoring this call. If our roles were reversed, I definitely would have blocked myself on every social media there is." (quickly) "Not that you should do that! Or maybe you should, I'm not sure to be fair. If it's any consolation, recording this is taking proper years off of my life."

Haz: "Lou, I'm sorry for what I said to you, and I know we're long past apologizing and moving on, but the guilt is eating away at me. I didn't mean any of it, though that shouldn't sway your opinion of me in the slightest."

Haz: (sincerely) "I don't think I'll ever be able to truly express how much I regret what I did to you. I'm not trying to validate anything that I said through this message or try to push anything into the past; I realize that my actions were incredibly immature. I can't explain the events of that night, nor do I feel like you should have to listen to whatever excuse I conjure."

Haz: "And I don't want this message to cause you any moral conflict. I'm not trying to win you back, guilt you into forgiveness, or hell, even to gain your tolerance." (sadly) "Think of this as our final goodbye."

Haz: "I want to be better for you." (getting choked up) "I know I really didn't make it seem like it, but you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't know why I didn't treat you with the kindness and respect that you deserve or chose to continuously play with your heart but, know that I do care for you profoundly."

Haz: "I'm sorry that you had to listen to this - if you even made it this far - I don't blame you if you haven't, nor will I ever know. This is a shit apology from a shit person, but please remember that none of this was your fault."

Haz: "You will always be in my heart." (without hesitation) "I love you, Lou."

Call ended.