"Searching" (Hitomi Tsukishiro x Male Reader)

Prologue: "Past and Future"

A/N: Finally writing about my best girl after all this time, Iroduku: The World In Colors is my favorite anime of all time, so I'm happy that I'm able to motivate myself to write it, of course, if you haven't seen the description already, this is based on that anime, so I heavily recommend watching it before this, it is way better than I could ever write it here, but I'll still write it the best of my ability so people can still read it without watching the anime, but the best of my ability is still pretty bad so take it as you will, anyways on to the chapter.

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Y/N's POV

I am Y/N L/N, a second year in Minamigaoka High School, as I am a transferee and I am currently living in the year of 2078, science and technology has really gone far today, automatic doors, flying cars, and there's really no need to carry anything to school anymore, thanks to this technology in a form of an earring, you can do everything with this, you can download various modules of schoolwork, pay a vending machine with it, even watch videos with it, basically like a VR Headset but more suited to everyday life, and so much more tech that I can't describe, I'm not the most knowledgeable person about it after all.

My family is a bit too eccentric when it comes to old stuff, my parents kinda obsessed with that retro feel, we have a lot of old stuff in our basement, including things that are over 50 years old or more, which I guess is the opposite of tech currently available right now, we got old relics here, my family shows me how to use them sometimes, which is our way of bonding.

Aside from that, I think my family is fairly average, but it's a happy one, though I live by myself currently, I was interested in this school only because of her, that Hitomi Tsukishiro was studying here, I couldn't help but transfer when the opportunity arises, it might be false, but I would rather take a risk, even if I gain nothing at all.

I've been reaching out to her ever since we met during childhood, but to no avail, though I wonder why I want to reach out to her.

Because of my own good? My ego? The satisfaction of being a "nice guy"?

All of those reasons can just be me wanting to see her again, for closure you know.

Now that I think about it, I was always like this, I have been selfless or the "nice guy", usually that'd be a positive, but it is my worst flaw, I usually make sacrifices on a whim, I have committed a lot of social suicides in my past friendships, like that one time, I kind of went and just confessed to the popular girl in school, in public, no less, I barely remember why I did it, but I know it's because I did it for my best friend at the time, I just gave him a little push, of course due to my social status going down to oblivion, I had to transfer schools.

To be honest, I don't really know why I did that. My past self was a bit too selfless. Maybe I did it for attention, for the satisfaction of it all, or for someone to just rely on me so I could be praised?

Who knows, only my past self knows the reason, but even if I did know it, I would still cringe at the thought of doing something like that. I sometimes hate myself.

But that was a long time ago, and I try to not make friendships that deep anymore or any decisions that basically will kill my social life in school, I have friends, but they are all friends with me because I have something convenient to them and vice versa, I don't really know how to describe it more than that though, It's kind of a relationship that gets lost easily, it's made up of thin yet multiple lines of string, one light breeze and it might break.

I'm scared of getting close to somebody, what if I open up and they leave me? Thoughts like that linger in my mind all of the time.

But deep down, I want a friendship that isn't made up of a web of lies, I want something more. I think mostly everyone wants that kind of relationship. Maybe this is why I am searching for her, A hopeful thought that she might be the one I'm searching for.