Taking the Fear out of Solo Travel for females (and males)!

One of my younger friends has been following my blogs with interest. Although enjoying her fortnight in the sun every year with her boyfriend, she has an inkling to travel solo. Being a little hesitant, she mentioned reading my blogs, made her less scared. This led me to realise that one of the reasons I enjoy travel writing, is to encourage other women to travel alone - not is it only possible, but it's enjoyable and transformative.

The main concern for women travelling alone, is around safety. Women trawl the internet in the hope of identifying countries that are deemed 'safe' to visit.

As you set off, friends and family take their hats off, calling you 'brave'. For stepping out into the big wide world on your own. Whilst I wouldn't deliberately step into a war zone, realistically I believe a woman can visit any country she desires, just like men.

Those countries considered to be dangerous for women travelling alone, usually mean the danger comes from men. This view gives men bad press they really don't deserve. After all, its a minority of men who are pests to women.

I find women (and tourists in general) mainly face 'annoyances' rather than 'dangers'. Yes ladies, sleazy men will approach you from time to time, but we deal with it, right?

Some countries get a huge thumbs down. To the extent that women are advised against lone travel, at all costs. Egypt stands out as a country high up on the 'no go' list. Women report feeling intimidated, men their eyes bursting with lust are said to leer and hiss at foreign women.

Having lived in Cairo as an English teacher, I regularly heard colleagues complain about Egyptian men's atrocious attitude towards women. Of course, I witnessed and experienced the guys hanging round street corners, whistling and jousting for my attention.

The best advice if this happens to you?

1. Ignore them, don't make eye contact and keep walking. Appear confident at all costs, look like you have purpose and know where you are going - even if you don't.

2. Don't pull out your phone or a map in the middle of a busy street. Find somewhere quieter and take a look there. Otherwise you may find yourself a target for someone who wants to 'help'.

3. It's always wise to conform to local etiquette, especially in Islamic countries. While it's not required that you wear a hijab, burqua or chador - dressing conservatively not only shows respect for the culture, it can divert unwanted attention. It's also useful to keep a scarf in your bag. Quite often, you need will need it if you are visiting a mosque or somewhere that requires you cover your head.

New Zealand and Australia are always up there at the top of 'safe' countries to visit. Even there however, as we've seen in the media, young female travellers have been murdered by men in recent years. In other words, safety cannot be predicted anywhere. So unfortunately we need to navigate the same safety strategies we put in place at home.

The pornography industry has a lot of answer for in their depictions of foreign women. In the minds of many men it translates into we are somehow 'loose' and 'always up for it'. As my friend in India put it, "all the men love the blue movie".

Every other day when we open the newspaper, we read reports of rape and sexual assault. However, it doesn't mean won't leave the house, does it? No, we tend to be more careful at certain times of the day and take precautions. I believe it's the same when we travel be savvy, be streetwise.

If you feel threatened in any situation or are lost, the best initial strategy?  Approach a local women or a family and seek help. It works every time. And younger people, are more likely to speak English. It is just unfortunate that the focus is on women to protect themselves against sexual violence. As opposed to drawing attention to the perpetrators.

As females we're socialised to care for others, be kind and avoid conflict. So as a woman, what do you do if a man approaches you and asks a seemingly innocuous question, 'What country are you from?' Do you stop, smile, and respond?

Quite often, if you do, you'lll get locked into a conversation, finding it difficult to disengage. If you completely ignore the person, avoid eye-contact and keep walking, - they usually go. So, it might feel rude or uncomfortable but it avoids becoming embroiled in a problematic situation.

If you like to refer to travel guides such as Lonely Planet or Rough Guide to plan a trip; don't concentrate too much on the 'dangers and annoyances' section. These books can breed fearful travellers. To the extent some become pre-occupied worrying about getting 'ripped off' it spoils their overall experience. Again be aware but try and avoid being over-cautious - relax, there's a good chance it might not happen.

For those who are really itching to travel alone, I'd suggest for starters, going somewhere closer to home. Then if you enjoy it you can venture further the next time. Youth hostels are a great way to meet like-minded people and there will be lots of opportunities for socialising.

Booking an Airbnb or another homestay, means you'll be well looked after and have a good solid base, with people who care. You also get a real insight into cities, as well as learning about local customs and traditions through your hosts. Staying with local families, adds to that feeling of safety, and you begin to feel more familiar with the culture through conversations with your hosts.

You will meet friendly and engaging men, only they won't approach you in the street. You meet them in a range of social situations, including homestays.

If you are a female or a male, who is a little reluctant to travel on your own, tell me why. What is your main concern? Is it around personal safety? Are you afraid to eat alone in a restaurant? Is it the fear of being alone? Do you plan a packed itinerary with activities every waking hour? Are you afraid of being with yourself?

Finally, you realise your skill set, perhaps for the first time. You navigate your way around cities; communicate with people even when there's a language barrier; you plan; you book transport/accommodation; you multi-task and make decisions multiple times a day, using your own judgement.

You realise exactly just how independent you are. There's plenty of women who're living proof that it can be done AND can transform your life. Exciting opportunities arise, you make new friends, who can change the direction of your life. You just don't know what amazing things are in store for you, yet!

Happy travels!