history ✫ reid and hotch oneshots

You could've told me! pt.1 (Angst)

Notes: This has spoilers for season 6 and 7! This is similar to the argument Spencer has with Jennifer after she didn't tell him about Emily being alive. But, I headcanon Spencer and Aaron's relationship starting a year after Aaron's divorce with Haley.
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Flashback
  Spencer filed in with the rest of the group, he was focused on finding Declan, for Emily's sake. As were the rest of them.

  Spencer watched as his boyfriend, Aaron, stand in front of the group. He had only seen him through skype calls for the last couples weeks due to him being assigned to a task force, so he was glad to see him there, he smiled softly, but retaliated when Aaron didn't share the same gesture.

  The man looked up, and sighed heavily before looking at JJ, and then facing the group, he started explaining everything about Emily being alive, and that everything was need-to-know and nobody could've told them.

  Garcia finished his sentence, "She's alive?"

  By then Spencer had registered what had happened and physically couldn't react. He looked at Aaron with betrayal before hearing someone approach behind him, Emily.

—

  Four days had passed since the trial, Spencer was taking a break to be in Las Vegas, where his mother was. He spent most of those days crying and ignoring calls from the entire team. He didn't know what to do, and he felt so hurt. He didn't do well with change at all, and everything was changing, even his own emotions, and he couldn't deal with them.

  After those days were up, he went back to work, he didn't talk to anyone except for Penelope, Derek and Emily, sometimes JJ if he had to. He couldn't look Aaron in the eye. And he couldn't focus on cases much either.

  One night, after it was late, and everyone was tidying in the bullpen, Spencer was called into Aaron's office. Something he didn't expect to happen.

  JJ was on thin ice so when she saw him walk up the stairs she couldn't find any words to try and comfort him, and the entire room was filled with tension. Spencer and Aaron had been together for 4 years, and none of them could imagine the two apart.

  Aaron set a file to the side when he saw Spencer walk in, he looked as if he hadn't slept in days, he was all alone with Jack for the most part, Jessica had been away with family and Aaron thought he could take it.

  Spencer stood in the doorway and looked over Aaron, he wanted to be mad. He wanted to be so angry, but he couldn't. He wanted to marry this man 6 days ago. How could he throw everything away after that.

  "Is this personal or professional, Aaron?"

  Aaron looked up. "We need to talk." He sat up on his chair and his voice was hoarse.

  "You don't get to cry when you weren't the one lied to." The younger man all but growled, he was angry, yet somehow he regretted those words. He didn't like arguing with Aaron. Because Aaron wasn't Hotch. Hotch would debate for hours on end and defend everything he ever did on a whim of a belief. Aaron, he didn't fight. He was quiet and he was completely different. And Spencer hated it. But unfortunately he couldn't separate Reid and Spencer. They were the same to him.

  "Sit down." He looked at the male standing. "Please."

  Spencer did so, he sat down, his arms crossed and his feet pointing towards the door. "You can't fix this, Aaron."

  The older man put his head in his hands, and rubbed his temples. "I know. I know I can't. But I didn't have a choice."

  "There's always a choice. Always. I wouldn't have said anything!" Spencer was getting increasingly louder.

  "I know that. I do—"

  "Then why! Why didn't you tell me! After everything we've been through, Aaron Hotchner, why! That's all I want, for someone to tell me a reasonable explanation of why I was lied to for 10 weeks! Why my team went through hell while you and JJ got to sit back! Why!" Spencer was standing again, and he wasn't quiet, the entire team could hear them, and they sat in silence as they spoke.

  "Spencer, I couldn't tell you. I couldn't. It would've put you at risk not to mention breach national security—"

  "So national security is more important than me? Is that what it is! Aaron, you know damn well you had to pick me up off our couch and carry me to bed because I was so depressed I could barely move! For 10 weeks! And you didn't have the decency to tell me! To at least give me a hint! Not even as my boss, as my boyfriend? Am I really that unimportant."

  Aaron had his head in his hands, "Spencer, I couldn't have told you. I couldn't put you at risk. That's not something I—"

  Spencer cut him off once again. "That wasn't you decision. That was never your—"

  Aaron stood abruptly. "Yes, it was Spencer. It was my decision not to tell you, and if it meant keeping you safe I would do it again! I know you went through hell. We all did! But you do not get to sit there and tell me that those decisions weren't mine to make. I had to keep all of you safe. Including Emily."

  Spencer was silent and his arms were crossed, and he shook his head. "You don't get to lie to me for almost two months. That's not something that can happen between us Aaron. I won't allow it."

  "Spencer—" Aaron shook his head. "Are you breaking up with me?"

  Upon those words Spencer broke into tears. The thought itself hurt him more than he'd like to admit. He had been through everything with Aaron. He had helped raise Jack and he had tried so hard to be the best possible person for the both of them, and he knew, he knew deep down somewhere, that Aaron tried just as hard too. And he wished that was enough. But it wasn't. "Yes."

  With that Spencer left the room, tears streaming down his face.

  The team assessed the situation fully enough to catch Spencer before he had a chance to get out the door, Emily was the first to speak. "Spencer—"

  "If you're going to tell me something like— like, me and Aaron have been together for 4 years and I should really think this over, I— Don't, Just, don't. Please. I know, I know."

  He broke from their grasp and walked out the doors.