Songs

Lost Control

Mirrors they never lie

Don't see myself inside

I looked into the river, peering at my reflection. A single tear fell from my face and dropped into the water.

Sigh.

It was no use. I could never do it.

Why can't I get it right ?

Again, I felt the salty water roll down my cheek, tracing its path to its eventual fall.

I don't know

Another sigh.

I was really useless. Nothing could change that, could it ?

You're always watching me fall

Tears were flooding my face now. I was a mess.

Sigh.

Shadows, they like my wall

I hadn't seen Tam come, but he was there. Without a word, he enveloped me in a hug.

"It'll be fine, Linh. You'll see. It'll turn out perfect in the end."

Why do I feel so small

I gazed up at the sky, and at the trees surrounding us. I feel minuscule amongst this perfect atmosphere.

I don't know

Another sigh.

So I walk into the dead of night

Tam had decided to come with me. After all, it was the middle of the night, and I needed a Shade. He also was my twin. We had a pretty close bond.

Where my monsters like to hide

I shivered. "This is like... that time. You know... when they took you."

Chaos feels so good inside

I was jumbled messed-up mix of emotions. I mean... I was happy to finally be finding out how to control my power. But I wasn't, because it would mean I'd need to go back to them.

Now I know

Sigh.

I lost, I lost

Shiver. I was really hopeless, wasn't I ?

I lost control again

Oh, yay. I just found out that when I'm nervous I have a tendency to soak people.

Always do the same and I'm to blame

Tam glared but reassured me. "You'll be fine. It's not your fault."

"It is."

I lost control again

"If this continues, I might as well put on my bathing suit," Tam joked.

I don't, I don't

I don't know who I am

Steely resolve fired me on. "They stopped me from being who I am."

Always do the same and I'm to blame

"They let me get banished for the flooding of Atlantis."

I lost control again

"Well, I'm not letting them get away with it."

Tired of being afraid

I didn't have experience. The only time I had ever revolted was the flooding of Atlantis.

But lately, I lost my faith

This wasn't going to work. There was no chance.

What is love without pain

That was a doubt, indeed.

It ain't home

Bitter laugh.

You're watching me but I'm below

Don't catch me, Neverseen.

When I get caught I hope

But I wouldn't get caught.

It's the kind of blackout that will

Take me home

The home I'd always wanted.

So I walk into the dead of night

Where my monsters like to hide

Chaos feels so good inside

Oh yes it did. It felt good to see others suffer.

Now I know

I lost, I lost

I lost control again

No, Linh. You can't think that way.

Always do the same and I'm to blame

I lost control again

I don't, I don't

I don't know who I am

I am Linh Song. Hydrokinetic. Twin. Banished. Ambi Hemisphere.

Always do the same and I'm to blame

I lost control again

I know that I'm a mess

My hair was undone, I had bags under my eyes, my tunic was ripped.

But I ain't tryna be the best

But I would do whatever it took to convince them to help.

So whatever's coming next

Start better pray-ay-ay-ing

Tam squeezed my hand. "You can do this."

I lost, I lost

I lost control again

Always do the same and I'm to blame

I lost control again

I don't, I don't

I don't know who I am

Always do the same and I'm to blame

I lost control again

"Oops."

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Wow, this was deep.