Decoding Independence (Monte Llana Series #1)

10

"Nice work, Osh!"

Professor Zaldriaga commended my work. Finally! Hindi na puro itim ang mga pieces ko. I decided to go for pastel garments this time. I like it better than black ones. These past few days, I took the time to regain myself. I restarted my usual workout routine, I tried to eat on time, and I would even eat with my blocmates na. I focused on keeping myself glooming.

Kung ano ang ikinaganda ko, 'yun rin ang ikinawala ni Clive sa paligid. I don't see him around anymore. People keep on asking me what's the status between Clive and I and wouldn't know what to answer.

"May competition sila bukas. 8AM sa pool area. Ikaw na lang rin kaya mag-cover?" Lau playfully gave me grin. I just rolled my eyes.

"Why are you informing me about that?" maldita kong tanong.

"Ay? Okay! Shuta, 'di mo naman sinabi na hindi mo na bet si Clive. Bagay nga sila nung Ileana," nang-aasar sa sabi ni Lau. Sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin.

And as if on cue, Clive entered the dining hall with Ileana. Gosh, lagi na silang magkasama these days! Nakakainis, ha. I want to have a masinsinang talk with that Ileana girl!

"Hahaha! Wala na raw pakealam," barumbadong asar ni Lau at inismiran pa 'ko.

Fine! I already have feelings for Clive. It took me a long time to finally admit that simple truth. I know for a fact that I couldn't live in the past and dwelling on that will not do any good either. Hating on my father and my stupid son of a bitch uncle will not change the fact that men are trash. Para lang rin akong natalo if I continue living on my horrors. I need to face life head on.

I need to accept that life has so much more to offer—Clive was one of the beautiful things. I need to fix some things with him before it's too late. I like being with him. Everything is now clear to me, and I'm also already sure of what I feel. Gosh, it took me a month to name this butterfly feeling: it's love.

It was already 6PM when my last class ended. I texted Harper kung nasaan si Clive and sabi niya, nasa pool area raw. Isang oras lang daw ang training dahil competition na nila bukas. Nag-drive na 'ko agad papunta sa SR building. When I arrived there, tapos na ang training nila. Papasok pa lang ako, kita ko na agad sila na bumaba from the rooftop. Nakita rin ako ni Clive and I suddenly didn't know what to do.

"H–hey," I greeted really quietly. Para nga siyang bulong na lang kung tutuusin.

Hindi ako pinansin ni Clive. Nagdire-diretso lang sila ng mga teammates niya papunta sa exit. What the hell? Hindi niya ba 'ko nakita? Is he blind now? Sinundan ko sila sa labas at timing naman na kotse na lang namin ni Clive ang naka-park doon. He stopped for a while when he saw me looking at him.

Naka-black sando lang siya, black board shorts and black slip-on slippers. Nakasuot rin siya nung varsity jacket ng Monte Llana at may bitbit na itim na duffel bag sa balikat. He looked really fresh from the shower.

"Hey!" I hissed dahil nakita kong papasok na siya ng kotse niya, purposely ignoring me.

Hindi siya natinag. He rode his Lambo and drove it away. What the fuck? Ang bastos! I hurriedly got in my car and followed his track. I tried to level my speed on his. Gosh, maaaksidente kami rito! Nang mapantayan ko na siya, I hurriedly opened my window dahil nakabukas naman ang head ng kotse niya.

"Hey! Let's eat!" sigaw ko.

He's purposely ignoring me!

"Clive Fabregas!" ulit ko.