phana pov:
so my life is pretty much the most sad disguisting and pathetic fucking thing ever just hear me out .firstly it started with my childhood which is pretty much fucked up .i was born in a family which gave me everything damn they gave me more than i asked for except love,i have always longing for their love i tried so many ways to gain their love and affection since childhood i always topped my class just to get appreciation from them i still remember when i passed my entrance exam for medicine i was elated i called my parents i wanted to share this happiness with them when i called them they said they were busy and will call later .and that later never came . Aaaaah phana what are you thinking this is not the first time right it happened always right and how can i forget this i think i was around 8 when i got really ill i was suffering from fever and i needed was my mother i really want to hug her i wanted her to soothe me and take away my pain but what she did she left me with my nanny cause she has important meeting.and then i met Jen she came like a ray of hope in my darkened life she made my life full of love , happiness which i never felt before i was sooo happy.but how can phana be happy right i was so happy that i forgot my life is a mess i am unlovable nobody can love me for me lets me tell you what happened i had exams so i was very busy but i missed Jen so much that's why i planned to surprise her so i made my way towards her house what i saw there made me surprised i saw Jen making out with a guy and when she saw me she said she loved me but the guy forcefully kissed her damn do i look that dumb to her.i was so heartbroken i asked her oops naaah i begged her to tell me reason what did i do for her to cheat on me.i never expected that from her.I thought she loved me,but what she told me showed the reality how phana is unlovable she said stop it phaaa stop it you know what i never loved you you are just a showoff piece for me u are handsome rich and good thing is that you fell for my charms you acts like a baby i am not a nanny to take care of you at first i thought i can change you but you cant do anything except whining about small things what you expect from me taking care of you we are adults phana we are grownup . you know what you are a fool who believed my every lie and u know what this is not the first time i am with someone other than you. i am with you just for fame and money. so, for now get lost i am busy.
what jen told me made my heart soo broken i needed something to get myself diverted soo i started drinking and then then i met ming for the first time. he was also drinking i think he approached me and started talking with me i was soo drunk that i started blabbering about everything .i started drinking from almost 1 week but i never felt soo light may be it's true that sharing relieves your pain after that night he was with me everytime like everymorning he comes to medical faculty with a pack of breakfast and then have lunch with me and sometimes he even eats dinner with me and comes to bar to accompany me and makes sure to drop me to my dorm.
one day i had a very severe headache so i thought of bunking class and sleep i literally forgot that every morning ming comes to medical faculty to give me breakfast and i forgot to inform him and just slept due to headache i don't know for how much time i slept but there is someone banging at my door i am not even in a condition to wake up my head hurts.slowly i opened the door there i saw ming standing with worried face and when he saw me he started shouting at my carelessness i was trying to tell him to calm down but my head started spinning and i fell on him,and thats it he become my mommy for the weekend stayed with me all the time,scolding me for not taking care of my self whattt do i look like a kid to him damn but i felt loved for the first time never in my life my parents did that for me and not even Jen i was always the one who took care about everything in the relation. now whenever i remember about it i feel lika a big fool at that time seriously phana you were just blinded by the fake love. I just cant cope up with all the feelings so i asked ming about it and dude he confessed ,he have feelings for me i know i too have some sort of feelings for him but its just i can't name them yet. i felt good when he is around me it always makes my day i just that since 1 month my days always started with ming and almost every day ends with him he always make sure i eat, he is always there when i am drunk he made sure i reach my dorm i got habituated to this do i feel something for him?????and what i feel is love?????argghhhh i am soo confused whyyyy ming why we were good being friends right but now you are going to make it awkward and i feel soooo.................. no i dont know what i feeel arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my life why it is soooo complicated why cant it be easy my life sucksssss man .
