An Opus Alchymicum Vol 1: The Experimental Theologian's Apprentice

The Giant and the Professor

"Oh don' mind Fluffy. He won' hurt ya!"

Harry blinked in shock as the giant addressed him. He wasn't sure what stunned him more, the fact that the giant could speak English - well, of a fashion - or that he'd called his three-headed dog Fluffy. So that was the question Harry blurted out first.

"Fluffy? You call that animal Fluffy?"

"Well, yeah," the giant replied reticently. "I think he's fluffy ..."

Harry could sort of see what he meant, if that mass of fur around Fluffy's slobbering, snarling snouts counted. Not that Harry was paying much attention to the fur ... not when three sets of razor-sharp fangs were currently being bared at him.

"Wha' would you call him, then?" the giant asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Harry replied sardonically. "Killer? Monster? Beast from Hell? Something like that seems more appropriate. What can I call you, though?"

"Oh, true, I haven't introduced meself, have I?" the giant replied with one of his cannon-like laughs. "Me name's Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds and Hogwarts. But ya can just call me Hagrid. Nice to meet ya."

He held out a dustbin-sized hand to shake, which enveloped Harry's entire forearm as he took it. This wasn't a bad thing in Harry's mind, as it protected his skinny flesh from the nearest of Fluffy's snapping jaws, which he hadn't taken his eyes off.

"Aren't you afraid of ... of Fluffy?" Harry asked cautiously. One of the other heads had started sniffing around, perhaps smelling the residue of sausage and bacon on Harry's fingers. "Don't you think he might eat you in the night, or something?"

Hagrid chuckled deeply again. "Nah, these big brutes are fine. You jus' need to know how to handle 'em. Take Fluffy, here ... all you gotta do is play him a bit o' music and he goes right to sleep. Watch."

Hagrid bent down and started singing to all three of Fluffy's heads at once. Well, it was an approximation of signing ... if the vocalist was a tuneless, tone-deaf fog horn. Which described Hagrid's warbling pretty accurately as far as Harry was concerned. But he was good to his word ... for at the very first - very off-key - note, all six of Fluffy's eyes started to droop and the heads all lolled at once.

"See? Told ya!" Hagrid beamed. But as soon as he stopped his demonic lullaby Fluffy stirred, roused and began snarling again. So Hagrid reached into his large overcoat and pulled out three slabs of meat, which occupied each hungry mouth for the time being.

"So you have to keep playing music to subdue him?" Harry mused. "How strange!"

"Ah music!" Dumbledore suddenly exclaimed. "Surely a greater magic than anything we teach at Hogwarts!"

Harry was rather dubious about agreeing. He rather thought potion-making, spell-casting and flying was infinitely more magical than Hagrid's audition for Wizard's Got Talent. But he held his tongue just the same.

"Why don't you join us for Christmas dinner?" Lily suggested. She didn't look thrilled at the idea, but Harry agreed with the expression in her eyes that it was only polite to offer.

"Oh, no, we wouldn't want to intrude," Dumbledore replied softly.

"Nonsense," Sirius insisted. "We have plenty of room and enough food to fill all of Fluffy's bellies, too! So long as Hagrid can get his pet settled for the afternoon, you are more than welcome to stay."