Gunita [EDITING]

veintiocho

I was heaving with so much anger and sadness. I could even care less if they'd kill me right now. I'm so done with being a sacrificial lamb—always covering their dirty little secrets as if I was destined to become a collateral damage.

Nakakasawa na rin maging tahimik.

"Why... you can't?"

Anna hissed, "Keep your voice lower! Don't... don't create your petty little scandal here, Brianna."

I chuckled, "We both know who here has more scandals... in private," I said. Anna remained mum. "What? Cat got your tongue? Because my dad's here? Why don't you tell him what the hell you've been doing to me for the past four years, stepmom?"

"Brandi!" Lolo stepped in, his authoritative voice almost echoing in the mansion's hallways. Napairap na lang ako—as if they're not used to moments like this. We literally swallow death threats for breakfast every day, they won't mind an acting granddaughter.

They're just scared... that may dad would know what happened four years ago.

And I think, what breaks me the most is that... I don't want him to know, too.

"Anna." She turned around, meeting my father's gaze, her hand holding the other to control the shakiness. She's scared... she's angry. She's every negative energy that exists... if that's even the best way to describe it. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"O-Of course not!" she uttered. "Your daughter's just angry, okay? Let's just... calm down for a bit."

Dad shook his head. "Tell me," he whispered, looking at me—his eyes pleading. "What happened?"

I smiled.

I hate my life, Dad. Sometimes I just want to die. Most of the time, I want to live. I'm always in between. Sometimes I'm okay... most of the times, I'm not. I want to keep living... but not this way.

"I-it's nothing dad. Just an outburst... I'm just stressed out." I gripped tightly on the purse that I was carrying. Things started to crawl in my hands and in my legs—my anxiety was acting up again.

It's gonna be okay... Brandi.

"I just need to... to rest, dad. I'll settle with this myself," I added, trying to pacify him with a smile. "I'm sorry..." I immediately turned around and walked away from them, letting the tears to silently flow down from my eyes.

Napapikit na lang ako at napaupo sa damuhan... I was out of their sight already. I couldn't swallow acting up anymore. I was clutching my chest, trying so hard to breathe in between the sobs. The pain felt so real that I wanted to rip my chest to let it all out... so that I could be finally done with all these things.

Maybe that's why I wanted to be a surgeon... because I'm so tired stitching myself up over and over again, that I wanted to just help fix people.

At least they still have a chance to be fixed.

I don't anymore.

What's sadder is that... they keep on tearing me apart and sometimes, it doesn't even hurt anymore.

I'm just... getting number and number every day.

"Why do I always have to see you crying?" I looked up—my sight blurry from all the tears... but I managed to smile upon seeing him. "It hurts seeing you like this."