faded. | fezco

three

peace.
that's the feeling i have when i'm high.
i feel at peace.
i like being fucked up. i like being out of control. it makes me feel at ease.
that's just a feeling that not everyone understands.
and i feel fucking bad for
them if they don't.
i don't mean to be dramatic but
i don't think i could live without drugs.
i don't think i could live without alcohol.
yeah they have their bad side, but at this point i need them to survive.

my eyes squint at the sun shining directly in them. i look up, not recognizing the window in front of me that's allowing me to get blinded right now.

i sit up, scanning the space, noticing the room door open. i throw the blankets off me, standing up from the edge of the bed.

the cold floor hits my bare feet as i tip toe through the room. once i go into the hallway, i recognize where i am.

fezco's house.

when i round the corner i find fez sitting on his couch in the living room, counting money using a machine.

i creep up behind him before laying my hands on his shoulders, making him jump.

"yo, don't do that shit b." he says once he turns around.

i laugh at his response, throwing my body over the couch to sit beside him.

"oouu, thanks, i needed lunch money." i say while grabbing a twenty dollar bill from his machine.

"look don't start with me." his eyes roll.

i laugh, shoving the bill in my pocket. "too early for my bullshit?"

he stands, taking the machine back to the dining table, also removing the money.

"it's three in the afternoon, but yeah still too early for your shit."

my head snaps up, my mouth dropping in the same motion.

"you're fucking lying." i ask him, making him laugh as he shakes his head.

"nope, yo ass was knocked for a while. what the fuck did you take last night?"

i sigh, running my hands along my face. "i don't even know. whatever rue got from ash and a shit ton of alcohol."

i cross my legs, pulling my hair up into a bun. "how did i end up here?" i ask him slowly, not wanting to sound rude as if i'm insulting him.

"rue went home with that new chick and i could tell you were too fucked up to get back alone."

i nod, truly appreciating that he looked out for me. even after all that time i was gone, he's still always there for me.

"i tried taking you home but you told me you moved and didn't know your new address." he continues, shrugging his shoulders as he begins making a sandwich.

"yeah my mom and her boyfriend bought a new house. it's in nate jacobs neighborhood, that's all i know." i giggle, not remembering any of our conversation from last night.

"hopefully i didn't move too much. rue tells me i kick a lot in my sleep when i'm drunk." i tell him.

he walks over to me, setting the plate in my lap before sitting back beside me.