Malum: Underdog

[secret #1]

I can't make friends so easily.

No, really. Apparently I look like a complete asshole when you first look at me, and if that's not intimidating enough I have a very crude sense of humor.

One where I talk about how much I want to kill myself and some people just take that to heart and introduce me to their uncles who are apparently psychiatrists and believe I have depression or something.

I have tons of free time and I don't enjoy meeting new people who think my sarcasm is a form of crying for help from the sad truth that this world is shit and I'll never be happy with myself no matter how many compliments I aim to get but never receive.

"Kinda want to order takeout for dinner...kinda just want to starve myself and go to sleep hoping I'd die the next morning." I informed to my best friend, Calum, through Skype while I looked at his stern face.

"Oh yeah?" He replied, not taking his eyes off the screen as he typed in beast mode. Seriously, he typed real fast.

I grabbed a few stale chips from a bag that has been inside my room for a week and ate them without a problem. "You're not listening."

"I'm sorry, Michael, I'm almost done fixing up my resume..."

"Yeah, yeah..." I pushed my x rocker chair back and spun myself a couple of times to heal the boredom. "Sooo...What are we doing tomorrow?"

Before he replied to me, he finished his work and went back to looking at his webcam. "We are doing nothing. I am going to the mall and apply to some places, alone."

"Why can't I come with you, again?"

"Because last time you stuck around during the whole interview and scared customers out with that glare of yours." He reminded me about the incident from two weeks ago. "I need to get a job, Michael, and I'm not trying to sound mean but...You're holding me back from this."

I smiled at him, finally stopping myself from throwing up from all the hardcore spinning. "Fine. I will allow you to go without me to the mall, but after you're done...Meet at my place and we can play some smash?"

"Deal." As soon as he sealed it, his mother called out that it was dinner time and that was the cue that he was about to leave me all alone. "I have to goー"

"I know. I know." I stopped him from explaining the situation and waited for him to give me one last smile through the screen before he hung up. "A home cooked meal every day...What a lucky guy..."

And here I was, eating stale chips from last week and thinking about wasting 20 bucks on crappy chow mein and dog meat disguised as orange chicken.

My dog, Lucy, suddenly whined at my decision as I reached for my cell phone to call the nearest Shitty Wok. "I know...I should probably become a vegetarian soon..."

After a small staring game with Lucy, she convinced me to not eat dinner after all and instead I took out my hunger by playing games on steam and listening to 80% ads and 20% crappy music on YouTube.

〜 I must of stayed up all night because by the time I was done making a 10 year old boy cry about losing our match online, I stood up to stretch and open a curtain to see the rising sun. "Oh man...I should of ordered Chinese food after all..."

Lucy was soundlessly asleep on my bed and I hated to wake her up from her doggy dreams but I still did it because she had to take a walk and pee outside otherwise she'd do it on the floor and I no longer had wee pads for her since I wasted that money on a new video game.