outhor note

read this pls

Just want to say this to y'all, it's not a bye bye I guess😅?? Idk, anymore tho😂 but please read this...
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Anyway, Thank you and sorry to all of my followers and the people that I follow all this time, I really is appreciate all the time I and we spend together all this time. Yes, I really love it from the deepest part of my heart UwU. I love you guys just so you know, I really love to write all of this story just for you and even I sometimes or probably always put my feeling on the story, like if I get hurt irl, y'know.
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The story sometimes became so and really massed up to see or read but still, I'm still loving it ❤❤❤ really, no matter how hurt I am while I write it 😅. I really love each vote you guys give me here 😸, I really really really REALLY LOVE IT ❤, I like it so much! It's really I cure me and my feelings! I know that my story always start from a lovely lovey dovey first, then suddenly became an action and bloody thing awkward😅. It's weird right?
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Also I lied so Many times while I write my note in it like, "I got hospitalized Lmaooo" I'm so sorry to say this but, I always delete it fast because I don't want to make y'all worried to me 😊, so don't worry. I'm fine really, my feeling and heart was really fine and all good 😆😄 everything I in the good shape.
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My body, head, legs, and hand was all hurt as F, but it's ok🙆, I'm ok (=,UwU=). And the mark thats left in my body, it's getting even darker each day. Sometimes it's makes me hard to write a story for you guys (Tʖ̯T), eventually ever since my phone was broke to piece. I struggle to use mouse in this body kind of condition, sometimes when I wanted to write I always put my elbows on air so that mark won't hurt me then I write 😣.
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It's so weird isn't? How my story kept putting blood or dark back story to the main character I use or make, I'm so sorry. As I said before, I always put my heart in it, I cant say that I'm hurt or not because all I see was, theres no mark on my heart and feeling towards after all 😸. I just, idk, follow my heart path that lead to my drawing and writing?? Idk anymore, do I run away by writing and drawing? Idk either 😅.
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When I write this, there's a giant mark that still fresh in my hand and legs, my legs are bleeding just now. But don't worry, it's stopped already 😂, idk. May I allowed to say this but, I finally let it out by an accident, I said "ow..." I was whispering And I dodidn't meant it to let out, I swear. And suddenly, the aromatic perfume can in my room that sized almost 30cm tall, was hit to my left side head. Until now in still spinning from it 😂, at those time I raised my hand to stopped the 2nd waves that coming to me in a speed. It's a very bad choice I can say (´∩ω∩｀).
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I feel On the ground because I can't sit nor stand straight at that time, and the can was keep hitting me repeatedly. I'm not crying, not because I dont want it, I just can't. If I cry, it'll getting worse than this 😅. I'm not allowed to show any expression except smile and no angry here, because I don't have my permission to do so, that's why I write it like this.
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I'm so sorry it this makes you guys spend your time and make it useless, please forgive my rudeness.
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"You cursed Child! Why are you my child?! I didn't raise you to be what you like, but what I like! Stop talking about your satanic God damnit cartoon to the kids around here everytime they ask! You Embarrass me!"
"All your score was just 8↗?? Thats it?? Look at this person in your class, she got almost every subject with 9! Thank you, because of you I was being scolded by my friends because I told you what to do, you happy now? You happy don't you? You ape shit! Do I make you clear?"
"You got sick and hurt are all because of your own fault, not me. And if anyone ask about your God damnit hands right here, say this to them 'I scratch it, or my cat scratch it.' Are we clear? Also, you just only allowed to answer yes and no, that it. And if I heard any words more than yes and no, y'know what will happen don't you?"
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Help? Do I really need a help? No, I didn't need it at all. Do I allowed to run away from the reality that faced on me? Yes, I do need it!
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Died is not the final ways but when it's already too much, died is also still not the final ways, I know it! But still, what should I do? Am i gonna trapped in here for the rest of my life? What if I actually died? Will anyone gonna cry over my or not? At the end, I'm still is just a run away and always gonna be that. Sometimes when ever I was being told to cut the meat or chicken, I kept imagine it like it was me, the one who got cut out.
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Why am I even born? Can I live in peace for a minute? Can I scream or showing my deepest feelings and expressions just a little? Will god really is going to let me doing it? Idk but, what if, god was got bored of me because I asking way too much quest to him? Can I make at least 1 person happy? I'm useless right?
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I felt so tired, my head still hurt from the previous session, my thumb got numb, it's hurt. Can I cry? Wait I can't, sorry I almost forgot.
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Thank you for spending your time just to read this from me 😊, I felt a bit better now I guess, idk.
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-s310